The family of an eight-year-old boy who died of leukaemia have vowed to fight Aberdeenshire Council’s new rules on cemetery ornaments, and not to give up a battle to keep the solar light on their “wee soldier’s” grave.
Yesterday Wendy Bendel questioned the local authority’s right to impose what she called guidelines on grief. She said her mother had put a light back beside a little soldier figure decorating the grave of her younger brother, Rhys, who died in 1991.
“We called him our Wee Soldier because he was so brave through his illness. When I drive past the cemetery on dark and dismal nights, I look for my brother’s light. I can understand council workmen not wanting large obstacles in their way, but these are tiny tributes mean so much to families,” said the 33-year-old, of Baddifurrow, Inverurie.
Mother Susan Bendel, of Highbury Grove at Pitcaple, had removed the solar light after the council contacted her over new guidelines on ornamentation.
Her daughter said: “It was hurtful to have to do that, and my mother has since replaced it. If the council insist on taking it away we will just continue replacing it.”
She said the solar lights were put in place by many bereaved families to give a soft remembrance candle-like glow at night.
“Are councillors so insensitive that they can’t accept how these personal things can be such a comfort. My parents paid for Rhys’ grave and an adjoining plot, so that they could eventually lie beside him. Families should surely have a say in how they care for their own ground.”
An Aberdeenshire Council spokesman said what were acceptable graveside tributes had been discussed and decided over two years.
There had been increasing concern over items, from wind chimes and solar lights to fences, shrubs and soft toys, left on lairs in the council’s 212 burial grounds.
Heavily-decorated graves could be a health and safety risk to visitors and maintenance staff.
The council has begun removing items in breach of recently amended rules. Items will be stored for six weeks to allow collection.
The spokesman said lair holders were being contacted by letter.
“Unfortunately the council does not have valid contact details for all. We would urge anyone who may have ornamentation that does not comply to get in touch.”
New rules say moving, noise or light-emitting features are not allowed, while temporary tributes should be removed within 21 days. Low-growing planted shrubs and any decorative railing or stonework will be restricted to a memorial border beside a headstone.
Questioned on the Bendel family’s plea, the spokesman said no solar lights would be permitted in cemeteries and all would be removed.
“We have to be consistent in applying the regulations.”