IT’S common for people to meet their future spouse in the workplace. However, when you have formed a personal relationship with a colleague, problems can arise.
The critical thing here is to draw a distinction between your work and home life. You need to treat your partner at work as you would any other colleague – be as professional in your treatment of your partner as you would anyone else at work. Personal disagreements need to stay at home.
It’s not a good idea to socialise exclusively with your partner at work – if anything, I would tend to go in the opposite direction and make a point of going out with other colleagues, not your partner.
While we all have to move house and plan holidays at some point, sometimes this can be a big work distraction.
We’ve probably all been in this situation. Especially if it’s a big one-off event, such as a wedding, it’s very easy for it to become all-consuming.
But look at it from the perspective of your boss and your colleagues. If someone else was spending all their time at work doing personal stuff, you would probably feel resentful. When you are at work, you are being paid to work – spending disproportionate amounts of time on personal stuff is, quite simply, cheating your employer.
When you are going through tough times, it can be hard to cope with both work and your personal issues. The question is: do you open up to your boss and explain why you are not on top form or just try to work quietly through it?
How you handle a difficult situation like this depends to a large extent on the kind of relationship you have with your boss. My general advice is that it’s best to be honest if you are experiencing trauma outside work so that your boss and colleagues can make some allowances.
Depending on the situation, it might be a good idea to take a little bit of time off to help you come to terms with your personal issues. This is much better than bringing them into the office and making other people feel uncomfortable.
Work can also be a useful escape from your problems, so try to concentrate on your role and use work as a positive way of taking your mind off your difficulties.
While work pays the bills, none of us can live without a social life. But if you have been out until 2am drinking, you’ll be struggling to keep up with everyone else the next day.
We’ve all had the odd occasion when a heavy night has had an impact on our performance, and most bosses will turn a blind eye if it only happens once in a blue moon. But if you are regularly the worse for wear the morning after, you need to do something about it as both your work and your reputation will suffer. Know your limits and keep the heavy socialising for the weekend.
Many of us know how difficult it is when you have had a call from the school to say your child is ill. But it can be difficult to explain the problem to your colleagues.
Childcare emergencies are one of the biggest problems that working parents have to deal with. There are times when family simply has to come first, and a reasonable employer will understand that.
Equally, however, if you are regularly taking time out to deal with family crises, be aware that other colleagues may well start to become resentful. If you are really struggling to balance work and home life, ultimately, you may need to rethink your job or try to agree more flexible working arrangements.
If your children are young, you have a legal right to ask for flexible working, but that doesn’t mean your employer has to agree, they just have to give your case a reasonable hearing.
When the everyday journey is tiring, finding the energy for work can be difficult.
This is a common problem as people often have to live a distance from work. There’s no simple answer, unfortunately – you need to decide for yourself what trade-off you are prepared to make.
Try to think creatively about your options – do you have a friend who lives close to your work who you could stay with one night a week, perhaps? Or would there be any scope for you to work from home once a week, or even once a fortnight? Ultimately, you need to come up with an arrangement that allows you to balance home and work effectively – in extreme cases, that might involve considering moving either house or job.
What happens when your work gets in the way of your exercise regime?
This is another area where you need to find some kind of compromise. Perhaps you could leave promptly one or two days a week to get to your gym class, with the payoff being that you work longer hours on the other days if need be. Or get up an hour earlier and go to the gym before work.
Or think about more creative ways of incorporating exercise into your working day – instead of going to the gym, for example, get off the bus a couple of stops early and walk the rest of the way to or from work. As long as you are doing some exercise during the week, you can leave the marathon sessions until the weekend.