Celebrity Trash Monsters sounds like one of those concepts dreamed up by Alan Partridge during the first series of his 1990s sitcom.
“Monkey Tennis… Youth Hostelling With Chris Eubank… Cooking In Prison… and Celebrity Trash Monsters, where stars are forced to spend two weeks draped in their own rubbish.”
It’s one of those ideas that is so bad you can’t help watching to see how they pull
it off.
Spoiler alert: They don’t!
I felt sorry for the poor trash luggers John Barnes, Jodie Kidd and Kerry Katona. They all probably signed up to do the dirty work for the noblest of reasons, but the resulting show is about as helpful to the climate change cause as a carrier bag filled with plastic straws.
I get the feeling the programme-makers were more interested in generating headlines with the idea of getting three household names to wear specially designed trash suits than they were about creating an entertaining and informative show about problem waste.
If viewers were meant to come away with tips and advice for reducing their carbon footprint, they’d have been better off Googling it, because there was nothing to see here.
The one thing I learned, other than the ridiculous amount Kerry Katona and her family spend on food deliveries each week, is that lobster takeaways are actually a thing (they may not be great for the environment, but they do sound divine).
I agree that we could all do with a lesson about our over-consumption habits, but dressing people up in bags of rubbish was absolutely the wrong format to do it.
I’m all for saving the planet, but programmes like this, that pollute our airways and clog up the schedules, are just as infuriating because of how little good they will do.
Diversity of opinion
When dance troupe Diversity performed a Black Lives Matter-inspired routine on Britain’s Got Talent it divided opinion.
Some thought it was a powerful sign of solidarity with the movement while others thought it was virtue-signalling nonsense that politicised the cause and had no business on a family entertainment show.
In Ashley Banjo: Britain In Black And White (ITV) the dancer faced his supporters and detractors head-on.
Vocal critic Jim Davidson did himself no favours, choosing instead to flounce out the interview in a huff.
If you’re going to take a stand at least have the courage of your convictions to defend yourself.
No need for drama
The first series of American Crime Story focused on the OJ Simpson case and it was enthralling television.
But I never really got into the follow-up – about the murder of fashion designer Gianni Versace – and unfortunately, the third series, which started on BBC2 this week, feels like another bust.
Impeachment, telling the story of the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal, might have been fascinating if I hadn’t already watched the six-part documentary The Clinton Affair when it aired in 2019.
That series pored over every grubby corner of the affair in such meticulous detail that this drama, starring Beanie Feldstein as Monica and Clive Owen as Bill, feels oddly irrelevant.
Rising up with fists
I wonder how long before we get a drama series about the riot at the Capitol Building?
Like Impeachment, I doubt any dramatisation will be as gripping as a documentary, particularly when there’s so much real-life footage to draw upon.
Four Hours At The Capitol (BBC2) spoke to police, politicians and protesters to tell the story of how the violence unfolded.
There was one main player who didn’t sit for an interview, of course.
Film of the week: Malignant (available to rent or buy online)
For much of its running time, the horror film Malignant is pretty standard stuff.
We have a black-gloved killer who is going around slashing people with an elaborate dagger, and a woman called Madison who is having nightmares about the malevolent murderer and his links with her murky past.
Plodding is how I’d describe the plot up until the 90-minute mark.
It’s never boring, but we have seen it all before.
But then, out of the blue and as the movie enters its final stretch, the tale takes a turn that’s so dementedly bonkers and weird that I had to laugh out loud and went from being lukewarm to a full-on cheerleader.
From that moment, all bets are off and Malignant turns into one of the best horror films of the year. Just get through that ropey first section and you’re in for an absolute treat.