Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

RAB MCNEIL: I love a little treat, the struggle for moderation is real

Rab was wondering whether the drink was giving him arthritis. But maybe it's a cure.
Rab was wondering whether the drink was giving him arthritis. But maybe it's a cure.

A constant conundrum of my life is that of a wee treat in the evening.

That is, something to nibble or savour while watching the telly, or to de-stress with after a hard day on the couch, sorry at the home-working desk.

The main ingredients of this conundrum are drink, sweeties and ice cream.

For a period recently, I tried doing without one, allowing myself the other two in return.

Going off the drink

But, some days, particularly if drink was taken first, I’d have all three. The results could be measured on the scales.

After something that seemed like gout, plus stomach problems, kidney stones, headaches and high blood pressure, I decided to eschew alcohol, which went well for a bit.

Much of it’s just habit, and if you get past the first couple of days, you get used to being abstemious quite easily.

However, having proved you can do it, you then get lax, and next thing you’re back to square one.

Then the gnarly knob came

Still, after a period of falling off the wagon every three days, I’d a straight run of a couple of weeks and, just by coincidence, or so I thought, started feeling arthritic-style pains in my finger joints and some in my toes.

A gnarly knob appeared on my middle digit. What don’t we want in life, readers? Correct: we don’t want gnarly knobs.

It’s worrying, of course. For a living, I type out the thoughts in my heid. And, for pleasure, I play the guitar for at least an hour a day.

When I went online to find guitarists with arthritis, all I found was Keith Richards, aged 102.

Reader, was I cured?

So, one night, fed up about this latest affliction, and it being the end of the working week, I treated myself to a couple of dry martinis and a small vat of wine.

Next morning: sore head, but all pain in my fingers and toes gone.

I thought it just coincidence but Googled it anyway and there it was: reputable scientific studies repeatedly proving that alcohol helps arthritis by acting as an anti-inflammatory.

Furthermore, teetotallers were four times more likely to get the condition in the first place. Interesting!

Now for the sweeties and chocolate

As for sweeties and chocolate, my problem was watching my weight. But I like to snuggle up with myself and watch the telly with something cosy to nibble.

It’s not just sweeties (chocolate and also fruit pastilles, which I find particularly comforting during thrillers). Recently, it’s been Swedish glace with wafers and fresh orange juice: yummy!

I’m guessing the horribly dull takeaway (and, at least where I live, I can’t get these) from all this is … moderation.

You could save the treats for the weekend, but that would mean five miserable evenings.

Perhaps a single malt from the NHS

You could restrict yourself to one glass of wine a night and one square of chocolate. Maybe three, no say four, fruit pastilles.

But I don’t think I can do it. I’m an all or nothing sort of chap.

As for the booze and arthritis (if it is that), of course it didn’t work the second time I tried, so it’s probably poppycock.

Still, I’ll ask my GP to prescribe me a bottle of single malt – a smoky Islay if the NHS runs to that – just in case.

Conversation