Polo, the quintessential sport of kings and princes, a noble and graceful horse-back pursuit is the antithesis of yours truly on the back of camel in Dubai – but more of that later.
The journey from Aberdeen to Glasgow Airport was a breeze. I boarded the 1.38pm to Glasgow Queen Street, walked the five minutes to Central Station, took the 5.16pm to Paisley Gilmour Street, followed by a bus to the airport, and arrived at 5.30pm, less than four hours in total.
As I had three hours to spare before my flight to Dubai I spent £18 on access to the Serviceair Lounge, an excellent decision.
The seven-and-a-half hour overnight flight was an enjoyable one, the leg-room on Emirates airlines’ economy flights is more generous than most and the food superb – smoked trout, peppered chicken followed by fruit crumble, accompanied by a nicely chilled chardonnay.
My base for the next four days was the Movenpick Jumeirah Lakes Towers hotel, two months old and with plenty of attentive staff – mostly Kenyan or Filipino – spacious rooms and free wi-fi.
After a leisurely hour by the pool, my taxi took me to the five-star Jumeirah Beach hotel, adjacent to the legendary seven-star Burj Al Arab.
Brunch was brilliant. I chose a mixture of Chinese and Asian dishes, crispy duck pancakes, beef and black bean sauce, and a chicken curry, followed by a selection from around 30 delicious desserts.
I asked if I could see some of the hotel’s rooms. The sea-view double was amazing until I was led to a three-bedroom suite – when I operated the electric drapes the picture-window framed the “Burj” only 50 yards away, simply breathtaking.
I then spent two hours doing something I never thought I would ever do: I joined the other big kids at the Wild Wadi Water Park next door and what a thrill that turned out to be!
I tackled four of the big rides, Master Blaster, the Burj Surj, similar in many ways to a giant ski-slalom, then Flood River and Wipeout.
I dined that night at Fairmont the Palm’s authentic southern Brazilian restaurant, Frevo. I enjoyed succulent steaks, carved at the table by a stream of waiters with three-foot long skewers, to the hypnotic beat of the salsa from the resident band.
Next morning it was off to one of many highlights of my trip. I joined 50,000 others at the Emirates Dubai rugby 7s. Tickets cost £40, the action started at 9.20am and didn’t end until 8.40pm, so I certainly got my money’s worth.
Although Scotland went down 26-14 to the eventual winners, Fiji, in the quarter-final, that disappointment was soon forgotten as I watched in wonderment as the Pacific Islanders hammered the previously invincible All Blacks 44-0, before overcoming England’s semi-final conquerors, South Africa, 29-17 in the final.
Later, at the Movenpick’s Mexican buffet, I enjoyed Tex-Mex dishes, including fahitas, and southern fried chicken, accompanied by a crisp Argentinean chardonnay.
The following morning another taxi took me to one of the most bizarre, and surprisingly enjoyable pursuits, I’ve ever experienced – camel polo – an Arabian twist on the sport of kings, and fantastic fun.
After 10 minutes’ instruction I was introduced to my jockey, Mohammed, and his mount, a beautifully groomed and not in the least bit smelly dromedari camel (the one with one hump, not two).
Mohammed manoeuvred my mount magnificently into position for me to open the scoring for the “blues” and we went on to defeat the “greens” 3-0. The second rubber in this best of three was more evenly matched, but we sneaked a late winner to triumph 3-2 and end the contest.
You will have surmised by now that buffet brunches are big in Dubai, and the next one, at the Movenpick Ibn Battuta Gate, was fabulous.
This five-star hotel, inspired by the journeys taken throughout Asia, Africa and Europe by 14th century Moroccan explorer Ibn Battuta, was breathtaking, especially the entrance hall, decked with more than 100 Moroccan lanterns.
My daredevil Dubai adventure took another twist that afternoon when I went on a 4×4 desert safari, like the camel polo, organised by Gulf Ventures. If you are looking for the ultimate adrenaline-rush, this is it.
Driver Yasser took us on a 40-minute roller-coaster ride over the dunes at breakneck speed, before we arrived at a Bedouin camp where I tried a shisha, or hubby-bubbly pipe, got a henna tattoo, enjoyed an Arabian barbecue under the stars, and was mesmerised by the beautiful belly-dancer, Gisella.
Ironically, when I was queuing for the barbecue I found myself surrounded by some burly guys dressed as Arabs who turned out to be the All Blacks 7s squad I had watched 24 hours earlier being humbled by the fantastic Fijians.
I had a long chat with their star player, himself a Fijian, Lote Raikabula, and he assured me they would bounce back in typical All Blacks’ style at Port Elizabeth in South Africa.
The following morning, Dubai’s National Day, I took a an abra – or water-taxi – across the creek to the historic aromatic spice souk, then the opulent gold souk, but time was pressing and I had a plane to catch.
I arrived at JA Jebel Ali Beach Hotel in time for a quick look at the championship-standard nine-hole golf course, the stables – air-conditioned, of course – then the goats and camel at the kids area, before boarding a seaplane for a fabulous 40-minute flight.
We drifted over the two palms, the world, the Burj Arab and the Burj Khalifa, to name but four of the memorable landmarks in this most remarkable city.
I had lunch in one of the complex’s 15 restaurants and bars – I again chose the buffet, it was extremely tasty and excellent value, and as you would expect.
I saved the real white-knuckle ride for last. It was time to head for the beach for a 10-minute blast on a rubber craft called a ‘donut’, trailed behind a speed-boat at full throttle – it was thrilling, and a great way to wind down my four day-love-affair with Dubai.
My final Dubai dinner was enjoyed at the Benjaron Thai restaurant in the opulent five-star Dusit Thani hotel in downtown Dubai.
A delicious set-meal was expertly prepared by head chef, a lady called Naruemol Poolkuan, who used to – and still does, on occasion – cook for the Thai royal family. It was a meal fit for a king.
Before heading back to my hotel, exhausted but exhilarated, I had just enough time to take in the spectacular fountain show, set in front of the 1,600 shops and restaurants at Dubai Mall.
The next afternoon I reluctantly boarded my Emirates flight back to Glasgow. It had been a challenging action-packed four-day break, but I enjoyed every second of it.
Tropical Sky (0843 249 5361; www.tropicalsky.co.uk) offers three nights at the Mövenpick Jumeirah Lakes Towers from £639 per person – saving £150 per person – including scheduled flights with Emirates and return airport transfers. This price is based on two adults sharing a Superior Room, and is valid for travel May 16 – June 30, 2014, subject to availability. For more information about Dubai visit www.definitelydubai.com Mövenpick Hotel Jumeirah Lakes Towers hosted our accommodation and dinner at Nosh. The bar is called UBK (Urban Bar and Kitchen) www.moevenpick-hotels.com Gulf Ventures supplied our drivers, City Tour, Desert Safari and camel polo (Desert Safari costs approx £45pp inc meal) www.gulfventures.com Emirates flies direct from Glasgow; see www.emirates.com Rugby 7’s – Tickets cost £45 for a day pass (entry is free on the first day of the tournament) dubairugby7s.com Mövenpick Ibn Battuta Gate Hotel – Home of the Mistral restaurant www.moevenpick-hotels.com Fairmont The Palm Home to the Brazilian restaurant Frevo www.fairmont.com/Palm-Dubai? Jumeirah Beach Hotel – Home of the Wild Wadi water park; see www.jumeirah.com/ Jumeirah-Beach-Hotel? Dusit Thani – Thai restaurant Benjarong www.dusit.com