Auldearn foster family: The ups and downs of giving 20 kids a home

Moray and Karen Ford’s first foster placement was a three-year-old girl they looked after for two weeks.

They put her shoes on wrong, weren’t sure they’d be “good enough” and cried when she left.

But since then, the Auldearn husband and wife have looked after about 20 children – and Moray, 62, even gave up work to be a stay-at-home dad.

From emergency placements to three permanent additions to the family, they have seen a lot.

Here, I talk to Moray and Karen about what it’s like to take on this crucial role – and why more volunteers are desperately needed.

Foster care: Why Moray and Karen took the plunge

Moray has two grown-up biological children from a previous marriage, James and Lesley.

But while he was in the RAF, he had “a certain male operation”, as he puts it, that meant he and Karen, who married in 2008, couldn’t have a family of their own.

Almost two decades ago, they bought a house in Auldearn, near Nairn, and did it up.

At this point, Moray was working offshore. He would be away for weeks at a time and Karen was on her own “with all these rooms”.

Karen, 56, said: “It was something we just sat and talked about.”

Moray and Karen Ford. Image: Sandy McCook/DC Thomson

Moray continued: “We didn’t apply to adopt because adoption was permanent. And what happens if, after a year or so that the child doesn’t actually like you? Or it wasn’t for us?

“The process of adoption is really good, but sometimes it doesn’t work, you know?”

So several interviews later, and the Ford were ready for their first new arrival in 2011.

In their case, their first child was a three-year old girl with mismatched shoes.

20 foster kids and counting

Karen took up the story: “Within a couple of weeks we had a a wee girl of three. She was the very first one we got.”

The first hiccup they encountered was reassuringly mundane – and a little bit funny.

Karen, who works at Brodie Countryfare, laughed: “She came in the Friday, and I was working the weekend, and Moray came to my work with the wee one.

“He’d put two different shoes on her.”

But just two weeks later, the little girl’s stay with the Fords had come to an end. They expected it to be a short stay, but didn’t anticipate the sadness it caused.

Karen added: “It was hard letting her go. We just got that wee bit attached.

“We remember all their names, what age they’d be now.”

After the wee girl, the Fords had a break of a few months.

They then had a six-year-old girl for a year and a half.

But the weekend she arrived, they also had a last-minute request for an emergency placement for two more children.

Moray said: “I just said yes, of course. I didn’t think about it.

“So they arrived – I think they were three and one – the wee girl was already here and Karen was working the weekend.

Moray became a stay-at-home foster dad. Image: Sandy McCook/DC Thomson

“I don’t think we’ve ever said no to anybody.”

Apart from a stint as a porter in Dr Grey’s and then Raigmore during Covid, Moray fell into the role of stay-at-home dad.

Over the years, Moray and Karen reckon they have had about 20 kids through their doors – and they obviously remember all of them.

There was the wee boy Luke (more on him later) who arrived with assurances he was a vegan – but asked for a cheese and ham sandwich for lunch and a roast chicken dinner.

And the six-year-old girl we already mentioned – when she finally left they admit they were “greeting at the door”.

After that, they generally had longer-term placements.

Dylon, Sky and Luke: In it for the long haul

Although Karen and Moray opened their homes and their hearts to every child who needed it, some of them were destined to stay for good.

Dylon recently turned 21 and Moray is his legal guardian. He is at college and lives at home.

They adopted Sky, now 19 and living in Wales with her boyfriend.

A per-teen girl leaning on a man's shoulder and smiling up at him. He is smiling back at her. — Moray and Sky. Image: The Ford family

The next step will be formally adopting Luke, 11.

They have a theory, although it’s probably not as simple as that – it’s all down to the lucky number nine.

Karen explained: “Nine seemed to be the age for a while. We got Dylon when he was nine, and Sky too.”

They have lovely stories about their kids.

In April 2013, Dylon arrived.

Moray said: “He was like a wee old man when he came – he had slippers and a dressing gown and would sit cross-legged.

“I just said to my social worker, this is the only thing that’s missing is a pipe.

“It wasn’t like other boys, he’d never played football and stuff like that. He went to coffee mornings.”

Dylon has ADHD and finds it hard to remember things – but he’s now thriving at college.

Moray became Dylon’s legal guardian. He wasn’t up for adoption, but he took the family name.

An older boy in a dark top with a collar and a younger boy in a dark T-shirt with a pattern, leaning against a shed and smiling. — Dylon and Luke hanging out in the back garden. Image: Sandy McCook/DC Thomson

Luke (who was the reluctant vegan I mentioned earlier) also came along at the age of nine.

To prepare for his arrival, Moray found out what the schoolboy was into – it was dinosaurs.

So he went out and got a sticker for his door that read “Luke’s room” illustrated with dinosaurs. He and Karen also added dino bedding and curtains.

Luke has recently made an important decision.

Moray said: “There is a social worker MairiAnna Birse who did life stories with Luke.

“We came to the very last session and Luke said I want Moray and Karen to be my mum and dad.”

Foster carers: Can anyone do it?

As Karen and Moray talk me through the list of children they have helped, cared for and made feel safe, even if only for the odd weekend, one thing is clear.

The tone of their voices and the look in their eyes as they count children off on their fingers – all named – shows how much love is in this house.

They are calm and easy going, nothing fazes them – perfect people for being foster carers.