“Four weeks ago I was organising a visit to Darren’s, to celebrate his Masters.
“Today I’m arranging his funeral.”
This is the heartbreaking reality for Banchory mum, Angie Forrest whose 23-year-old son Darren died of bowel cancer just six days after being diagnosed.
She is speaking out for the first time in the hope other families can be spared the agony of losing a loved one to such a horrible disease.
“Darren used his final days to raise awareness of bowel cancer. It’s up to me to carry on his legacy.”
Growing up in Aberdeenshire
Born on April 4, 1998 in Aberdeen Royal Infirmary, parents Angie and Graham say Darren was hardworking from childhood.
“He was always a bit of a go-getter. Always worked hard for what he wanted.
“And always focused on being an engineer.”
From Torphins Primary he went to Aboyne Academy then finished his Highers at Banchory Academy when the family moved there.
He studied civil engineering at Edinburgh’s Heriot-Watt University but would come home every weekend so he could keep working in Country Flavours in Alford.
Moving away
After a gap year where he spent time in Dubai aged 19, he graduated with a First Class honours degree and started to apply for jobs all over the UK.
“When he said he had seen some jobs in London I secretly hoped he’d find something closer to home.
“As it turned out he got his start as a transport planner with Aecom in Birmingham.”
Darren got a flat in Dudley and while working full time began a remote Masters of Science course with Napier University relating to transport, planning and engineering.
Cause for celebration
“On October 16th we travelled down to see him and he mentioned he had a red rash on his tummy.
“Darren was always one for trying out new things so when he said he’d changed his fabric softener we thought it was just that.”
But at the meal Angie noticed that Darren wasn’t eating.
“He’s always been very thin, but always had a great appetite.
“When I asked him about it he just said he’d been feeling really full without eating much.
“There were alarm bells at that point. That was so unlike him. He loved nice things… nice food.”
It was a double cause for celebration, however, during the visit.
Darren had just received word that got a new job with City Science.
“It was a big step up into a consultancy role. I was so proud of him but was getting worried about him.
“I thought the Masters, and work and everything else was taking its toll. His eyes looked dark and he was telling me how tired he was.
“He also said he had a sore back.”
Please see a doctor Darren
After that visit Angie encouraged Darren to see his GP.
When he eventually got an appointment a stool sample and blood tests tests revealed his white cell count was elevated.
He was asked to go to hospital immediately for more tests.
“They told him to go to Russells Hall Hospital A and E, and that the doctor had called ahead.
“But he had to wait seven hours. By this point he really was becoming more and more ill day by day.”
Darren was sent home later that evening with a prescription for antibiotics for a suspected bowel infection.
“I was raging. Graham got the first flight down and although Darren didn’t want to go he took him back to be seen.”
Admitted to hospital
Darren was admitted to hospital on Wednesday, November 3.
Angie flew down on Saturday, November 6 to be with him.
More tests and a CT scan was carried out during that time.
By the following Wednesday a doctor called Angie at Darren’s flat and asked her to come in.
“When I walked in the door Darren told me the doctor had already been to see him and that I should sit down.
“I knew then it was bad.”
Bowel cancer
Darren’s consultant explained to Angie that her son had a very aggressive, stage four form of bowel cancer, which had already infiltrated his colon, stomach lining, liver and esophagus.
“I was in an out, I just couldn’t take it in. I asked her what this meant.
“She replied, ‘it’s just a matter of time.'”
Darren posted an update to his Instagram account to share the devastating news.
He explained the steps he had taken adding: “I was diagnosed with bowel cancer this week and will start treatment hopefully soon.”
A day later he updated it with these harrowing words: “Unfortunately my cancer has progressed to other organs in my body and I will now be receiving palliative treatment to improve my quality of life while I rest at home.”
He added: “I dream of a world where early diagnosis is key and no one needs to die from cancer.”
Appeal for help
With an unknown amount of time left Darren launched a Just Giving page where he said his goal was to raise awareness about “this horrible disease that anyone can get and to support Bowel Cancer UK’s campaign to improve early diagnosis, especially for those who are ‘too young to have cancer’.”
“I couldn’t believe his focus. My world was spinning and he was trying to help others.
“I just wanted to get him home.”
More than £14,000 has been raised so far.
Final moments
With the help of doctors Graham and Angie were able to fly their son home to Aberdeen.
The 50-minute flight saw him arrive at Roxburghe House on Sunday.
“This was the last day I was able to speak to him.
“The night before I had one of the most difficult conversations of my life where he carefully instructed me on what he wanted to wear in his coffin, but by Sunday it was getting really hard for him.
“He managed a thumbs up when we landed and said he was pleased to be back at home.
“On Monday he couldn’t speak. They helped him with pain and by the early hours of Tuesday morning – six days after finding out he had cancer, he slipped away.”
Know the symptoms
Now Angie is appealing to anyone with Darren’s symptoms to get help right away.
“If you have an unexplained rash, pain, you feel full, or tired, don’t just write it off. Get checked.
“On the 16th of October we were at dinner celebrating. By November 16 my only son was dead.”
Bowel Cancer UK also lists possible symptoms as:
- Bleeding from your bottom and/or blood in the toilet
- A persistent and unexplained change in bowel habit
- Unexplained weight loss
- Extreme tiredness for no obvious reason
- A pain or lump in your tummy
Final farewell
Darren’s funeral takes place on Thursday, November 25 at Echt Parish Church and kirkyard at 1pm.
On his instruction Adele and Lewis Capaldi music will be played.
The family plan to stream or record the service for those who can’t make it.
“How will I remember my son? He’s impossible to forget.
“He was fun, hard working, loyal, loving, and that his last wish was for people to help get rid of bowel cancer.”
You can visit Darren’s fundraising page here.