If you are looking for love in Aberdeen then a Dates-n-Mates event might be the place for you.
The Aberdeen branch of the national charity has now been running for seven years bringing people together through social events – and they are always ready to welcome new members.
Sean Coyle, a community engagements and events planner, shared that the charity is focused on supporting love and friendship for adults with learning difficulties.
Group helps people to get out and about
The weekly events take place in and around the city centre and are organised based on the preferences of the members.
Group gatherings to the pub or bowling alley are a chance for socialising, while events, such as the Kiltwalk, allow them to collectively fundraise for a cause that means a lot to them.
Members are urged to come out of their shells and given the opportunity to try out new things and build their confidence.
The events are an opportunity for new connections to be created, and in the long-term, they may find love and be able to form relationships.
Earlier this year, the charity received lottery funding which will help them to continue organising events over the next couple years and hire more staff to expand into Aberdeenshire.
Dates-n-mates has four branches in Scotland led by dedicated teams, including directors who have their own experience of a learning difficulty.
Helping people find their voice
Sarah Paterson has been director of the Aberdeen branch since its launch in 2015 – and plays a significant role in influencing the direction of the charity in the north-east.
The day after she finished college she had her very first day working with Dates-n-Mates.
“I didn’t know where to go after finishing my course,” she said. “I heard about Dates-n-Mates about two months before the launch. Then my mum helped me with the application and I had a successful interview.
“Everyone was so nice and welcoming which made me feel more relaxed.”
Seven years later, she is still in the same role helping to give people with learning difficulties a voice.
“I’ve learnt how to communicate better and that it’s ok to ask for help,” she added. “I’m able to connect with the members and can relate to them emotionally.”
Building confidence
During lockdown, Miss Paterson started hosting virtual workshops which have been beneficial for her and the members.
She has covered a range of topics she feels are important, including mental health, self-care and confidence.
“They’ve been really helpful for getting people to open up,” she said.
“From the perspective of a person with a learning difficulty, I know what’s overwhelming to members and can help make everyone comfortable.”
Working alongside the members and taking part in events has allowed Miss Paterson to find a balance when it comes to socialising and learn how to relax from sensory overload.
In 2018, she was named 0n the UK Learning Disability and Autism Leaders List in recognition of her achievements working with the charity.
Richard Reid, a trustee for the charity in Aberdeen, has also experienced a great increase in his confidence since becoming a member.
One thing he is passionate about is improving wheelchair access at the venues where the member events are held.
“I never thought I’d be a trustee, but it’s going great,” he said. “Dates-n-mates is a big ray of sunlight in Aberdeen.”
There are currently around 60 members in the north-east, and the charity is always keen for more people to get involved through its online or in-person memberships.
Conversation