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Grieving parents call for babies’ graves to be left alone amid north-east council’s cemetery rules enforcement

Kai Cox regularly visits the grave of his twin bother to leave small gifts.
Kai Cox regularly visits the grave of his twin bother to leave small gifts.

Grieving parents have begged council bosses not to clear toys and other mementos from their “sacred” babies’ graves.

One bereaved mum behind a petition that pleads with Aberdeen City Council to relent said the plot at Hazlehead Cemetery was “all I have left”.

Hundreds of people have now signed the document started by Rebekah Mackenzie, whose son is buried at the site.

The authority wrote to parents of babies interred within the Small Babies Section last week to inform them they had until April 1 to remove items placed on the surrounding grass.

It said the toys and other items posed a health and safety risk to staff cutting grass and were also against site rules.

In letters sent out to parents, the council states that memorabilia “not complying” with the rules would be stored for six weeks.

A council spokeswoman confirmed last night that after this period the items would be disposed of “as per the rules”.

Miss Mackenzie, who now lives in the Borders, said: “The grave is all I have left and is a sacred place to many of the families.

“It is personal and almost joyful to be able to place on a special occasion.

“We no longer have this option and I think it’s so unsympathetic to us.

“It’s not something you can imagine until you’ve been through it.

“All we ask is to leave things how they are or come to a suitable compromise, meet with the parents and discuss what could be done.”

Another mother, who did not wish to be named, said receiving the letter from the council was “heart-breaking”.

“It is hard to cope with the loss of your baby and we are so lucky to have the baby garden,” she said.

“To go there and see the graves empty rather than full of bright colourful memorabilia – which can be the only connection families still have with their babies – is the saddest thought.

“We will never get the joy of buying our son birthday or Christmas presents each year. The only thing we have is his grave and to be told we can no longer have his teddy on top of his grave is devastating.”

She went on to say that she would be happy to help maintain the baby garden herself along with other parents, adding: “I understand that this is a health and safety issue but it is a very sensitive subject and if you have not been through the trauma yourself I don’t think you can begin to understand how distressing it is for the families.”

Another parent, Kirsty Cox from Stonehaven, whose twin son is buried at the cemetery, said she often takes his surviving brother up to visit the grave to leave small gifts as it has “helped deal with the loss”.

One parent, however thinks the council is right to ask for the items to be removed and thinks it is a “mess”.

The anonymous mother said: “It’s really untidy.

“There are huge planters and windmills all over the place.

“It would so much nicer if it was tidied up.

“Some teddies have been left up there for ages and are in very poor condition.”

An Aberdeen City Council spokeswoman last night said she appreciated it was “a sensitive subject” but added: “Aberdeen City Council is responsible for the upkeep of the cemetery to ensure it is safe, accessible and presentable for all people who come to visit graves.

“We have offered to meet parents if requested.”