Whilst cancer often leads to the loss of a family member or loved one, Lorraine Lindsay’s diagnosis brought her back in touch with her two sisters after almost 30 years apart.
Ms Lindsay, 57, discovered she had lung cancer in 2014 after she made an appointment with her doctor, following bouts of breathlessness.
Talking about the moments leading up to the news, she said that, just as it had been for myriad other people, the memory of being told ‘you have cancer’ never fades.
She said: “I was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2014 which came about after I had been suffering from breathlessness, so I went for a chest examination to see what percentage my breathing was at and it was only 29 per cent.
“After having an X-ray to see what was causing it, they found a shadow.
“I remember being told. I don’t think the memory will ever leave me. I left the hospital after my x-ray and when shopping in TK Maxx, I got a [phone] call.
“The doctor told me to go back to see her, and I knew then. My legs turned to jelly – I never saw cancer as being something that would happen to me – and then, suddenly, it was in my life, completely in my face and I was floored.”
Following her diagnosis, Ms Lindsay underwent a lung lobectomy. And after not speaking to her sisters for almost three decades, she explained she felt it was important to let them know about her surgery.
She said: “I couldn’t let them find out if anything were to have happened in hospital. It just wouldn’t have been right.”
But what happened next was a total shock.
As she added: “I hadn’t seen my sisters for 30 years after my parents died – the family sort of splintered, but to wake up and see both my sisters and my niece at my bedside, it was so nice, knowing, after all that time, they still cared.
“So for all the negativity that cancer brought into my life, having them back in my life again….you can’t put that kind of thing into words.
“When I woke up, it took me a moment to recognise them – but since my surgery, I have them back [in my life] and for that I am taking the positives out of a situation that leaves so many heartbroken.”
Since reuniting with her sisters, she moved back to Aberdeen where she has continued to build bonds with her family. But sadly, despite becoming free from lung cancer, her battle did not end there.
As she said: “One night I was at my sisters having tea and I just had this funny turn – I couldn’t understand what anyone was saying.
“Initially, we thought it was a mini stroke, and I never thought that my cancer had come back.
“But it had moved to brain cancer.
“Now I just take one day at a time. But it’s a big thing to come to terms with when you are told it is terminal.”
Yet, while sitting and speaking to her about her illness, one thing was clear – she has never let the cancer change her, and for all the sadness which a terminal condition brings, she is always determined to find the silver lining.
She said: “I know some people who have had cancer or are still fighting it say that cancer has changed their outlook on life, but I would say I have tried to do the opposite in that I haven’t ever wanted to let the cancer change me.
“I try and forget about it sometimes and I think, it’s there now and there is nothing I can do about it. You just have to get up in the morning and live your life as normally as you can.
“I am not prepared to dwell on it – you have to take a positive mental attitude – but don’t let it fill your thoughts 24/7.
“I would say to other people who have been given the same diagnosis that sometimes I feel it is a double-edged sword. Some people don’t get the chance to say goodbye, but I will hopefully have that chance and have the time to get my affairs in order.
“Now I can just enjoy the time that I have – and who knows how long that time will be?
“I am determined not to spend the time I have wastefully – and that’s why I am honoured to be taking part in Courage on the Catwalk.”
“Every day is a bonus and doing this has been fantastic. To meet other women who are going through this experience, which is what I like to call it, an experience, doing this, everyone looks at me like I am living, not like I m dying.
“And when you are terminal, to have people around you that aren’t focusing on that fact, even though we’re doing it for Friends of ANCHOR, there isn’t much that feels better.
“I like the camaraderie and I leave rehearsals with a smile on my face – and what else is life about really. And now I can’t wait to get on the catwalk and enjoy a new experience and show others that life doesn’t stop the moment you get a terminal diagnosis.”
