The mum and partner of Loch Ness FC player Donald Macphee have made a heartbreaking plea to those struggling with their mental health, following his sudden death.
Dad-of-two Donald John – better known as DJ – passed away on December 9.
Now his mum Joan, and Sophie – his partner of 15 years – are hoping and praying no other family will need to face a Christmas without a loved one in such tragic circumstances.
“I wouldn’t wish this heartbreak on my worst enemy,” said Sophie Polworth, mum of DJ’s two children Amelia, 8, and four-year-old Charlie.
“And certainly not on any child.”
Life in Inverness
Donald was born on November 6, 1987.
Raised initially in Benbecula, he moved to Inverness 25 years ago with brothers Roddy and Archie, and was raised by Joan and then step father John Macphee.
A former pupil of Smithton Primary then Culloden Academy he was a natural sportsman, loving football and boxing.
Inverness Athletic FC were shocked and saddened to hear about the passing of former player DJ Macphee today.
The thoughts of everyone at Inverness Athletic FC are very much with DJ’s family, friends and everyone at @LochNessFC at this incredibly hard time.
— Inverness Athletic Football Club (@InvernessAthFC) December 9, 2021
Joan Macdonald, DJ’s mum, is struggling to come to terms with losing her ‘lovely boy.’
Through tears she said: “This came out of the blue. I mean, everyone goes through difficulties but nothing that would have made us think he was struggling to this extent.
“From the minute Sophie called me to tell me, I was heartbroken. I don’t know that I’ll ever not be shocked. ”
Please seek help
Now, with Christmas just around the corner they both want to make sure that for those struggling, help is made available.
“My priority is getting my children through the next two weeks: their dad’s funeral and then the first Christmas without him.
“I know this can be a difficult time for people but it’s not too late to get help.”
DJ will be laid to rest on Tuesday, December 21 with any donations going to Mikeysline.
The Highland charity was founded in 2015 following the death of Michael Williams – a friend of DJ.
Sophie, who met Donald when they were just teenagers through social media app Bebo, explained.
“I’m speaking in veiled terms because I have a child who is so heartbroken she asked Siri if it knew her dad’s name.
“But DJ knew Michael, and since he died a phone line was launched. It’s there to help others think twice before taking such desperate steps.
“This has brought it home to us that you never really know what’s going on in the heart and mind of another person.”
Final goodbye
DJ worked as a bricklayer with his uncle, Charlie Macphee, and played football for Loch Ness FC, who paid tribute to him at the first match after his death.
“He was such a doting dad. He loved his kids. And he was a caring, loving son.
“I’m just so, so sad,” Joan added. “Christmas will be all about the grandchildren, and life after that is just a day at a time.”
A celebration of Donald Macphee’s life will take place on Tuesday, December 21, at 12.15pm, in the funeral home of John Fraser and Son, Inverness.
A song chosen by Amelia will be played.
“She asked if ‘Flowers in the Pouring Rain’ could be played at the funeral. She had filmed her dad dancing about with Charlie’s underpants on his head, on TikTok.
“It makes her smile.”
Brightest star in the sky
The family hope DJ will be remembered as being someone who loved his friends and family and who will remain a huge part of their lives.
“I have told the kids that daddy wasn’t well and that he couldn’t stay with us any longer.
“I explained that he’s gone to be with the angels in Heaven and when they look up into the sky and see the brightest star, they’ll know he’s there.
“They’ll know their daddy is shining down on them.”
- For a non-judgemental, confidential conversation, call the Samaritans free on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
- The Samaritans also have an app which you can download to your phone, providing self-help tips. Find out more on the Samaritans website.
