They set the autopilots on Air Force One and other airliners and they all headed for Cornwall from all over for G7.
America, France, Canada, German, Japan and USA. And 10 Downing Street. They came, they talked, they barbecued, they went.
Whether the premiers and presidents at the summit achieved anything depends on what you think of China and whether the G7 is doing enough to get Covid vaccines out to poorer countries. That’s a naw then.
Carbis Bay had better weather than Carloway but it was bizarre seeing them all discussing how to eradicate Covid while not wearing their own face masks or social distancing. Dominic Raab explained that there are, and there always have been, different rules for government business.
Let’s not spoil the occasion by saying something hurtful such as: “Actions speak louder than words”. After all, these guys are just common or garden world leaders.
GB News is as dull and predictable as Scotland in the Euros
The rest of us now have a new TV news channel through which to gaze at world leaders. It’s called GB News. Wonderful. Not the channel, you understand, just that we have more choice.
Our Axminster must be worn through as I spent all of Sunday pacing up and down waiting. Maybe I didn’t quite wear the carpet through but I am trying to convey some sort of build up to the switch-on. Then the pre-recorded guff faded and Andrew Neil emerged through the mist after possibly declaring: “Tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be king of the airwaves.”
And he wasn’t the king of anything. Crikey, that first night was as dull and predictable as Scotland’s thrashing in the Euros on Monday. Do we really have to put with a further month of lame excuses and hand-wringing about Scotland?
Instead of news, GB News churned out all sorts of self-congratulatory vagueness from people who didn’t really seem on the ball, amid various audio dropouts which made the entire thing difficult to comprehend.
Where was stirrer-upper Piers Morgan when they needed him? Andrew Neil probably remembered that his chum Boris doesn’t like being grilled by Morgan. He will bring him in later.
Sometimes loved, sometimes loathed, the see-saw Morgan drew nearly two million viewers each morning before his huffy Good Morning Britain walkout. Whispers suggest the Marmite anchor may get bored doing nothing and soon join Neil, after the launch fuss. Otherwise, their lasting legacies could be Piers 1.9 million, Andrew nil.
An independent Scotland will be fuelled on Mackie’s and Tunnock’s
Andrew Neil, you’re supposed to be Scottish – as are you, Neil Oliver. Tell us about something Scottish. Indyref?
For instance, will the Outer Hebrides manage if the next referendum is aye? Yes, Scotland will be fine as long as we have Mackie’s – because they make iconic ice cream, cracking crisps and joltingly, joyful chocolate.
And we know an independent Scotland will thrive as long as we can also have Tunnock’s, the wafer waving biscuit maker, for Sunday treats, and Macleod & Macleod’s hand-sculpted Stornoway black puddings for morning-after fry-ups. Drambuie will help us deal with all other eventualities.
We will need Ian Ross of Ross’s Garage for engineering – including ferry repairs, obviously. With CalMac trialling the Pentalina catamaran thing for the Minch, that too may need to come to his garage on Caberfeidh Road for its MOT work. Other maintenance outfits are not as dedicated. Just a pointer there for the transport minister, whoever it is this week.
Technology is great but I miss maps
The ugly-but-stable Pentalina should excel on the choppy Minch. Technology does it all for its captain. No charts or maps required.
Studying maps is something I love. They are a unique medium in which all parts of the composition are data. In case you’re wondering, I just read that on a map reading website. Sounded impressive coming from me though, eh?
Large maps on tables were important once. Such as at RAF Bentley Priory, where much of the Battle of Britain was planned. You see the WAAFs in the old films pushing models of planes around a big map of the English Channel. It says here they quickly realised girls were better at it than “slow-brained” men. That’s probably a misprint, eh?
Most important was understanding the map from wherever you were around the table. They even had to read it upside down.
Having always wanted to control Spitfires, I was excited to get an email the other day offering to teach me how to read maps backwards. It was just spam.