So many reasons are making the year 2020 one that we will always remember.
What will we actually remember when we look back on these unprecedented times?
Being stuck indoors for months on end is going to be one of the least pleasant memories, for me at any rate.
Mrs X will probably tell a different story about how she enjoyed the long months canoodling with her darling husband. That’s me, by the way.
The year 2020 has seen people get great jobs and others have stepped down. That happens all the time in politics, of course. Followers of politics will have their own weird, if predictable, recollections.
What will be memorable to them will depend completely on whether they are on the red side, the blue side, this side of the Atlantic or any other side whatsoever. They see only what suits their party and they then forget or rubbish everything else.
The actual facts are somewhere in the middle of all that but who cares when it’s a really important issue and the right spiel could generate votes, support or just sympathy?
Maybe that’s why Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s chief adviser Dominic Cummings announced he was going to make himself redundant by Christmas. Thank you for the heads-up, Dom. We will buy extra crackers to celebrate.
Two days later he made a very public departure from 10 Downing Street, by the front door right under the noses of a posse of photographers, clutching an incredibly symbolic cardboard box, marked, er, “Storage Box”.
It, presumably, contained maps of County Durham, satnavs, driving spectacles and whatever he needed to get home.
Cummings is just a common-or-garden civil servant. So why did he get the symbolic door to carry his symbolic box out after being told not to darken the door of that symbolic house?
I’m thinking, why is he telling us he’s going to quit and then quitting as quietly as a jet engine?
Is something happening that may need to be blamed on someone who was there at the time? Maybe a few MPs, including the PM, being infected and having to self-isolate.
Who could have passed the virus on? But Mr Cummings had quit by then. Or maybe it was spread earlier…
Still, crateloads of Covid vaccines are on the way. That must symbolise progress, hope, love… please.
Also progressing this year are Ross County. I am no soccer expert but my contacts at Victoria Park in Dingwall tell me two young Lewis lads have risen through the junior ranks and have turned out for the first team.
Stuart Kettlewell, the boss of the Staggies, knows good players when he sees them so Andy Mackinnon and Matthew Wright both played in the first game at the weekend against Stirling Albion with real, raucous, shouty supporters.
Ross County are so well named. I’ll tell you why. They now have five players with the first name Ross.
And there’s a 16-year-old called Logan coming through their academy with the surname Ross. You couldn’t make it up.
Where have all these people called Ross come from? There’s Ross Laidlaw, the goalie, Ross Doohan, on loan from Celtic, Ross Munro who also came through their excellent academy, striker Ross Stewart, and midfielder Ross Draper, who was previously with Caley Thistle.
Amazing. I’m just waiting to hear Jonathon Ross is the new manager. Sorry, Stuart Kettlewell, you’d have to step down for a Ross.
Jonathon R wouldn’t be long at Woss County if he couldn’t pronounce it. He could maybe get the iconic Diana Ross to sing at half time. Chain Reaction would have Victoria Park jumping.
Then maybe Now That You’ve Gone. OK, maybe not that one. How about Give Up. No, think of another symbolic, positive song she did. She also sang No One Gets The Prize.
So Diana Ross’s songs are not very suitable. We need another Ross. We’ll just have to get Ian Ross of Ross’s Garage in Stornoway to do the entertaining.
He can’t sing either but he can tell jokes. Ian, how much is the bill for fixing my van?
How much? Ha ha ha. You’ve got to be joking. He’s so funny. Another symbolic happening will make me remember 2020. I have finally made it big in my life.
On Monday, a representative from one of the world’s largest, most iconic companies spoke to me by phone and told me that I had arrived.
It was Google Maps.
