This week I was doing a radio interview discussing how our priorities change as we grow older.
For example, when we are young, we think we are invincible and money burns a hole in our pockets. We know we ought to save for a rainy day, but that night out seems so much more important.
Of course, I’m generalising, as I have one child who is a totally astute saver and one who lives well above their means, but most of us grow a bit cannier as we get older.
Coming from the north-east, I always had that sensible gene, but my mum’s love of an expensive outfit most definitely rubbed off on me.
Love of shoes
If I was spending money on anything it would have been clothes. Partying wasn’t necessarily my thing, but a new pair of shoes was way up there in my priorities.
Don’t get me wrong, I could still be tempted by a new outfit to cheer me up, but it’s not the be all and end all anymore. I’m much more likely to be looking in the sale rail nowadays.
Years ago, I remember discussing the historian Mary Beard in this column. She would be the first to say that she doesn’t follow fashion or care if her hair is grey.
A few years ago, I would have been a bit outraged at that and would have thought she was very strange. Now I’m older myself, I think she is the one who has the right attitude.
When you see middle-aged people, especially women, totally beating themselves up trying to look as young as possible, it’s sad really.
I wouldn’t want to let my hair go grey and step eagerly into that “old person” category just yet, but while my younger self would have been pleading with me to have some work done, my changed attitude means that I’m steering well clear.
Change of mantra
Looking as glamorous as possible used to be my mantra, but now, although I still try to look my best, I’m not losing any sleep about the odd wrinkle.
I can still honestly say I have never had botox, fillers or any of those things. Never say never though!
What made me realise how much my opinions have changed was meeting Mary Beard this morning in the BA lounge at Heathrow, as I headed on a little day trip to Aberdeen.
In that lounge you see a lot of wealthy people who tend to look the same, wear the same and act the same.
The women all have the same designer handbag draped across their forearm, the same designer trainers and jeans and the same botox-ed look.
Mary Beard, on the other hand, sat eating her bacon sandwich in her comfy clothes and very individual floral Gucci trainers. She looked natural, confident and content.
It suddenly made sense to me.
Fashion used to be about being individual and now it seems like it’s just about being a cardboard cut-out of everyone else and fitting in.
I’m not throwing out any of my posh bags and shoes, but equally I’m not adding any more.
What now?
So, what does this new changed me want from life instead?
Living life simply with less clutter, less stuff and less pressure to keep up with the Joneses is a good start.
The music business isn’t really a great place to practise this though, unless you are a strong character.
I worked on a project this week where I was the only person who wasn’t wearing either a Balenciaga tracksuit or trainers, but it was fine.
I didn’t feel the need to go online and get a pair for the next day, which is just as well if you have seen the price of these things!
It’s all about having the confidence to be yourself and I think age gives you that sometimes.
We don’t have to fit in with what society says is fashionable if we don’t want to.
I’m not there yet, but I would certainly like a little bit of that Mary Beard don’t-care attitude.
What about the men?
So what are men’s middle-age priorities?
Are they with us all the way? Of course not.
Sports cars, motorbikes and leaving their wife for a younger model are the most common changes men make.
No wonder women get insecure.
But confidence is attractive, girls. Be confident in who you are and let’s just be more Mary Beard.
I’m going to try to stick to that motto from now on… well, until I get offered a facelift!
Have a good week,
Yvie x
