So, is it fair that Eurovision is coming to the UK next year because of all the upheaval in Ukraine, the homeland of this year’s winners?
Yeah, it’s not Ukraine’s fault, but it is undoubtedly safer to give it a miss this year until we see how it is going to go.
Who would have thought it, just a few months ago, that we would be potential hosts, when we thought all of Europe hated the UK and would never vote for us again? That’s really fair.
Many cities are pushing themselves forward as possible venues. No, not Manchester. It rains more in the Rainy City than in Bunavoneader in Harris – and that’s saying something.
Yeah, it would be a good idea to take it to Glasgow or even Aberdeen, which has already been out of the traps shouting: “Me? Me. Me!” Is P&J Live in Aberdeen up for it? Much better would be here at Back.
The community centre, that is Upper Coll Recreation Centre, which is also the home of Back FC, is huge. You can see it from overseas – well from Point, which is across Broad Bay.
They say 13,300 attended the last Eurovision in Turin, but there aren’t that many chairs in the whole of Back – well, maybe at the communions. However, less is more, and the reduced capacity would mean Eurofans would really want to come here. That’s only fair.
Scotland has a proud Eurovision history, going back to Kenneth McKellar in his kilt belting out A Man Without Love in 1966. He came ninth. Then there was Lulu with Boom Bang-a-Bang in 1969. She came first, equal – with three others.
Then in 1972, the glitz and glam came to Edinburgh’s Usher Hall, because Monaco had no suitable venue available. People forget that. That year’s winner was Vicky Leandros for Luxembourg. Vicky is Greek and lives in Germany. Oh, my head hurts.
His Lordship longed for lochs
Another government minister caused someone a big headache last week. Even newsreaders struggled to pronounce his name. When ethics adviser Lord Geidt quit, we heard hilarious attempts to say his name, depending on which channel you watched.
Some claimed it rhymed with heat, beat and sheet. No. I reckon it rhymes with height, bite and sh… er, shergottite. That is a meteorite from Mars, as I am sure you know, because readers of this column are of above average intelligence. Is that fair?
He is actually Christopher Edward Wollaston MacKenzie Geidt, Baron Geidt, GCB, GCVO, OBE, QSO, PC, FKC. MacKenzie? With a name like that, he may be a cove from the Western Isles. No, seriously he actually is.
Christopher Geidt is one of the most honourable men I have ever met. In the end he was a decent man working for an indecent prime minister. He thought he could discreetly bring about incremental change but he was repeatedly lied to by No 10. In honour Johnson should resign.
— Chris Bryant (@RhonddaBryant) June 15, 2022
On his mother’s side, he is one of the Mackenzies of the Harris Tweed family, behind the Kenneth Mackenzie mill, or KMK as it is now. Chris Get Out, as he hated being called, went to school here, and has a big croft in South Lochs.
It’s actually the 365-acre Crobeag Farm. So, when he was not investigating the source of funds for doing up Boris Johnson’s posh flat in Downing Street, His Lordship was scuttling back here to make sure his pregnant flock of double-horned Hebridean sheep were OK.
Then, after all the pulling out and wiping down was done and he had put his wellies away, he went back down there to probe Rishi Sunak’s wife’s nom-dom tax affairs. However, he recently got sick of the nonsense down there. His Lordship longed for lochs.
Odious? Fair enough
He penned a wee note to Boris Johnson saying he had been asked about government plans which he thought risked a breach of the Ministerial Code. He wrote: “This request has placed me in an impossible and odious position.”
Odious. Wow, that’s a nuclear word. No going back after you use that one. Most of us would have just told the guv’nor they would like their P45. Lord Geidt, or Chrissy Crobeag as they know him in Lochs, was altogether more elegant.
He wrote: ” …the idea that a prime minister might to any degree be in the business of deliberately breaching his own Code is an affront.” In similarly posh words, he said that changing the ministerial code was not on.
Farmer Chrissy then blasted: “This would make a mockery not only of respect for the code but licence (sic) the suspension of its provisions in governing the conduct of Her Majesty’s ministers. I can have no part in this.” Boom. That’s fair enough.
Life is not fair, they say. Is it fair that last weekend I was treated to all these presents and meals out for Father’s Day by my daughter, and now she wants half the cost back?
I protested loudly. Her reasoning was: “It’s like this, dad. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t even be a father.”
Iain Maciver is a former broadcaster and news reporter from the Outer Hebrides
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