We need to call out Covidiots who think they are above the law and who will put other people in danger as long as they have a good time.
You know, the ooh-so-elegant news show hosts and the adorable pop star who deserve to be pilloried because they simply didn’t care about keeping anyone else safe. They party, bop and give a very realistic impression of horrible people who care little for others because everything is all about them.
Now the queen of breakfast TV has blasted. Lorraine Kelly is now of an age when she is no longer bothered about upsetting anyone.
Guest-hosting on the satirical show The Last Leg, she went into festive mode, saying: “To all of us who sacrificed so much this year, I wish you a very merry Christmas and a prosperous 2021.”
Then she snapped: “Unless, of course, you’re a celebrity who broke the rules of lockdown. In that case, you can go take a running jump at yourself.” Or words to that effect. Go, Lorr.
Sadly, some celebs get arrogant with wealth. It’s so indiscreet to mention filthy lucre when discussing people of such magnificent talent as Van Morrison and I am sure he is being honest when he suggests he needs to keep performing to pay bills.
Celebrity Net Worth recently calculated he was worth only £68.1 million. They must have got it wrong, Van – like everyone else in the whole wide world.
Ungrateful twits like Morrison and his friend Eric Clapton are out of touch and believe any old rubbish. The gruesome twosome are releasing anti-lockdown music, supposedly to aid struggling young musicians. One right does not cancel out a whole host of serious wrongs.
Their blithering stupidity may be the effect of the 1960s haze of mind-altering substances that caused such misery but of which decrepit survivors from the period still seem so unstintingly proud.
Unjustified and ancient, this deluded pair seem desperate to stay relevant so they’ve stopped simply caring about others. I’m sure Lorraine has heard how Van Morrison has been deliberately flouting face mask rules.
How sad that Van the Man and Clapton have sunk so low they support loony conspiracy theories dreamed up by great thinkers of our time such as David Icke, Piers Corbyn and Donald Trump.
Maybe the conspiracy theorists are right. Maybe Covid-19 is just a wheeze by Bill Gates to control the world. Maybe we should reject any orders from the government to do anything.
Maybe the Chinese, or Gates’s empire, have put tiny transmitters into each shot of the vaccine so they can control us through the 5G network.
Then there are facts. Our government tells us we must drive on the left. Is this just a trick to get us closer to the 5G transmitters? If you think that, maybe you should stop obeying the state, quit driving on the left and see how you get on.
Seriously, I am joking. I need to say that because, as we know, some people blindly believe any nonsense they see in print, however silly. Hey, why are you looking at me?
Maybe we are told to do things to keep us safe. Just think.
Like Aberdonian reader Peter Fraser had me thinking. His letter in The P&J praised me to the skies.
He went on about my brilliant perception, humour and topicality. I think David has been reading the hilarious Flying Pigs column, not mine. Then Peter cut me down to size about my P&J photo by asking: “Has he ever been known to smile, and was a photographer there to catch the moment?”
Listen, Peter. It’s like this. I managed a grimace. It was very difficult to smile because the photographer was Mrs X.
My wife is a snapper – and in so many ways. So while I am pouting and trying to look composed, thoughtful, creative and wise, she is in front of me shouting that I haven’t done the dishes, or put the bins out or got air freshener to mask the stink I caused in the morning. What? She hates the smell of kippers, you see.
She is shouting at me now to go for a walk.
OK, OK. I haven’t told her yet but I am going to get a wee dog, and I’m going to call her Five Miles.
That way, when Mrs X asks about exercise, I will tell her that I have walked Five Miles.