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Sister’s death left George Shelley ‘in a really dark place’

George Shelley has spoken of his grief over the death of his sister (Ian West/PA)
George Shelley has spoken of his grief over the death of his sister (Ian West/PA)

Singer George Shelley has said he went to a “really dark place” after the shock death of his sister.

The former Union J member lost his sister Harriet in a car accident in 2017, and fell into a “scary” state of grief.

Shelley, 25, became agoraphobic and was prescribed anti-depressants in the wake of her death, he told BBC Breakfast.

The singer described his sister as his best friend, and said he was devastated by her death.

George Shelley documentary
George Shelley’s sister, Harriet, died after being hit by a car during a night out in 2017 (Family Handout/PA)

He said: “You want to hide away from the world. I was in a really dark place.

“It’s still really hard to talk about.”

He added that he suffered “agoraphobia – hiding away and not wanting too leave the house”, and was close to suicidal thoughts.

Speaking about people taking their own lives after suffering a bereavement, he said: “I’m not saying I was in that place. But I was close to it, and it’s scary.”

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Talking about this is the most painful thing, but keeping it in hurt me more. When life slam dunks you to rock bottom, you get faced with a choice. You can either carry on down the slippery slope of escapism and denial, or find peace by channeling the pain into something positive. A lot of people may find this subject uncomfortable, but by talking about it, processing emotions and understanding the different coping mechanisms available, we can find the best way to help us move forward. I learnt so much during this process, and I can now stand tall in saying that I don’t know where I would be today if I hadn’t made the choice to share my story. The last 6 years have had a catastrophic effect on my mental health, the last being the straw that broke the camels back, and I’m nothing but lucky to have had the best support around me, and proud to have found the strength to keep on keeping on. If we don’t talk about these things, if we carry on suppressing our thoughts, our anxieties and worries, they can develop into severe mental health complications, which can lead you down the wrong path, and there’s no guarantee the end of that path won’t be fatal. Around a quarter of people under 24 who take their own lives have suffered a bereavement. So no more being forced to “MAN UP”, no more fear of showing weakness and vulnerability. We are all human and this is just a part of life we are conditioned to hide from. It came sooner for me than expected, and the tragic shock nearly sent me down the wrong road, but it didn’t, and I’m proud of everybody involved in making this happen. It’s time to face reality and share what I’ve learnt throughout the last years. Learning To Grieve will be there for you to watch if you think you’ll find comfort in it, Sunday on @bbcthree via iPlayer, and on BBC One Tuesday evening. I hope it helps anybody out there, especially the young who find it difficult to discuss these issues. All the love and support. G x

A post shared by George Shelley (@georgeshelley) on

Shelley has worked on a BBC Three documentary, Learning To Grieve, which examines reactions to loss.

He has now said he was inspired by his late sister to move out of grief.

“I couldn’t let myself keep going that way, ” he said. “I need to take her attitude and try and turn this into something positive.”