Steffie Murray wanted to make her body disappear after being bullied by girls at school.
As a young girl she’d enjoyed playing volleyball and even loved taking part in football.
But that all changed after she moved into high school and became a victim of bullying.
“I was actually really sporty,” Steffie, of Buckie, explains. “But in the locker rooms girls can be cruel. I got bullied really badly so I just dropped out of sport completely.
“I hardly went to school and didn’t have any friends. It was horrendous.
“Looking back now I was quite depressed.”
She struggled with bulimia
Despite these difficulties Steffie, 34, got good grades and moved on to study fine art painting at Gray’s School of Art in Aberdeen.
Then, after winning an award at a degree show, she went on to exhibit her work in New York and Los Angeles.
“I think I needed art at that time,” she says. “It helped me cope with being bullied and was just another way of expressing myself.
“Painting helped with how sad I was.”
It was the start of a new life for Steffie but by this time she was struggling with bulimia and had developed an unhealthy relationship with food.
She focused too much on her body and was unhappy with the way she looked.
But then her life changed…
However, Steffie’s fixation on her weight sparked an interest in fitness and she signed up for aerobics classes; a decision that would ultimately transform her life.
“It was just a local keep fit class, aerobic training which was very cardio heavy,” she says.
“I kept adding weights and I could lift more and heavier. That’s how I found strength training.”
At first, it was daunting working out in the weights section of the gym but she hired a personal trainer so she could learn how to use them properly.
Before long she was challenging herself to do deadlift exercises with barbells.
“Through weight training, my focus changed to what my body could do instead of what it looks like and I rebuilt my relationship with food,” she said.
“And you find that the changes happen when you start to think like that and realise that you need to eat to train, otherwise you would feel awful.”
‘I spent my wedding fund on gym equipment’
Steffie, who worked as a shop assistant, started to feel “mighty and empowered” for the first time in her life when she started weightlifting five years ago.
After “waging a war” with her body for such a long time she was beginning to realise that it was capable of so much more.
“It’s kind of strange to realise your body is capable and strong when all I had wanted to do was make my body disappear for so long,” she says.
“Now I think ‘No, I am here, and I do take up space’.”
At the time she was building up a wedding fund. And although no date had yet been set for the big day, she’d started looking at venues with her 36-year-old partner.
But then the pandemic hit, so she spent the £3,000 fund on gym equipment so she could train at home instead.
Steffie had always watched the World’s Strongest Man TV show every Christmas and was now keen to compete against other women.
And her partner Tommy Clark, who she describes as her “biggest supporter”, was fully behind her.
‘My illness got so bad I really didn’t think I would be here today’
However, Steffie, who now works as a self-employed strength coach, was about to face another major setback in her life.
The country was hit with a series of lockdowns with little sign of an end to the crisis.
Steffie found herself living alone for much of the time because her partner often works away from home.
“I had an awful lot of time to think of bad things that have happened to me and it just kind of spiralled from there,” she said.
“I stopped training and got really depressed to the point I could no longer work, leave my house or leave my bed.
“My illness got so bad I really didn’t think I would be here today.”
How did she get better?
Realising how bad the situation was, Steffie knew she had to do something about it and contacted her doctor for help.
She was put in touch with a specialist, started taking medication and gradually built her health back up again.
“It really started with the smallest of things such as making sure I got out of bed and had breakfast and then going out for a 10 minute walk,” she says.
“I think for a long time I didn’t want to be on medication, because I thought it would be a failure of mine.
“But I’m realising it’s something that’s in my brain and I need that medication so I can function and have a fulfilling life.”
Scotland’s strongest women: Now she’s taking part in competitions
Steffie started training again just over a year ago and soon found that the routine of going to the gym gave her something positive to aim for.
Now she is working with a specialist coach and has competed against other athletes in four competitions.
To do this she flips 200kg tyres, presses 40kg circus dumbbells and has pulled a truck weighing 8.5 tonnes.
In July she came fifth in a competition at Grangemouth Stadium.
Steffie is now working towards her biggest goal: being crowned Scotland’s strongest woman.
But she also hopes her story will encourage other people facing struggles and help them realise that they can also live a fulfilled life.
Finding her own true passion helped her push herself into challenges she didn’t think she could do.
“There’s no feeling like strong – it’s amazing,” she says.
“I’ve never had a buzz like it before, when you deadlift your own body, or heavier, then you realise you’ve just picked up the equivalent of a person.
“You don’t get a buzz like that doing anything else.
“It’s definitely changed the trajectory of my life.”
Steffie will be giving a talk on the benefits of strength training at The Health Haven at 14 Ogilvie Street in Portessie at 10am on October 22.
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