Yvette Cirule was lonely and depressed five years ago.
She’d made the difficult decision to leave her husband a few years before when her daughter was just a toddler.
Even though her biggest fear was being a single mum.
But she could cope, because of all of the things in life which kept her busy.
“The way I was approaching life back then was total avoidance,” the 33-year-old says.
“I had a part-time job and a child who kept me distracted. And I was involved in a non-profit organisation organising events.
“On those rare occasions when I was not busy, I would binge on Netflix all the time.
“I’d wake up and turn it on because I didn’t want to hear my thoughts, because they were morbid.”
On realising she needed help…
But then the first lockdown happened and she couldn’t work and was left on her own because her daughter was spending time with her father.
“I suddenly realized that I’d seen almost everything on Netflix that I liked and there was just nothing left to watch.
“So all my coping mechanisms were gone, and I thought ‘what am I going to do now?’”
It was a pivotal moment for Yvette who, left alone with all her difficult thoughts, then realised that she now needed to get help.
At first she was prescribed anti-depressants from her doctor. But this troubled her thinking that she might need to take pills for the rest of her life.
However, she realised just how much she was struggling to get through life at that time without them.
It was a scary time for Yvette but, looking back now she realises that lockdown was one of the best experiences she’s ever had.
‘Then everything shifted…’
During the start of the pandemic, one of her friends sent her a motivational audiobook called You Can Heal Your Life.
“I’d just got a puppy and I thought I will listen to this book while I walk my dog,” she says.
“I think it was almost 10 hours long and I listened to it in two days. Then everything shifted.”
Inspired by the way the author Louise Hay managed to turn her own traumatic life around, Yvette soon realised she could do the same.
Right away she noticed just how much her ruminating thoughts were affecting her life.
Just by showing herself some kindness and compassion she could change the way she felt.
“Everything is repetition,” she says. “Louise Hay has these 12 steps towards self love and step one is to stop all criticism.
“So you don’t criticize yourself but you also don’t criticize others.
“If you forget the keys to the office, for example, you would probably criticize yourself straight away and think of yourself as stupid.
“It’s such a habitual thing to do. But you’d never do that to your colleagues if they forgot the office keys.
“It’s bizarre that we would treat others, even strangers, nicer than we treat ourselves.”
Book changed my life: How does she now help others?
Soon she was buying audiobooks written by other motivational authors and looking forward to listening to them while out walking.
She joined a network marketing course and ended up making small changes to her life which also made a difference.
After waking up at 5am she’d do a yoga session, meditate and write down everything in life she was grateful for every day.
Then she discovered Louise Hay teacher training workshops were running in Ireland and booked herself in for the course.
“I remember not even having funds to do it because it’s quite expensive,” she says.
“But I knew that I needed to do it.”
It was an emotional experience for the mother-of-one who learned just how important it was to release negative emotions instead of holding them in.
And she knew in her heart that this was her passion and that she needed to help others.
“Nobody teaches us in schools how to regulate our emotions, ” she says.
“You’re not going to just wake up one day emotionally intelligent and know how to deal with everything that’s happening in your mind and in your body. It’s not magic.
“It does require some work and some time but it’s worth it.”
Yvette and has been running workshops back home in Aberdeen as well as retreats in Mexico helping others heal their lives and find happiness again.
She’s come a long way from what her life was like just three years ago when she coped with crying and binge watching Netflix.
Within weeks of reading the very first book that changed her life she felt confident enough to stop taking anti-depressants.
What impact has it had on her life?
Yvette says she now feels like she’s lived through two eras – her life before personal development and afterwards.
Learning how to trust herself and build up emotional resiliance has dramatically changed her life.
“Five years ago I would crumble on the floor and cry if I missed a bus,” she says. “Or if someone made mean comments to me I would spend all day in bed and be miserable.
“Now I think anything can happen and I will be fine. It’s so empowering and so beautiful.
“So here’s the biggest thing that has changed – I no longer need others to make me happy.
“I no longer require external validation, because I love myself. I respect myself and I believe in myself.
“I want people to understand how powerful and how healing self-love is.
“If you love me, or like me, that’s lovely. It’s nice, but it’s an extra because I have already met my own needs.
“If other people don’t believe in me, you know, that’s fine, because now I believe in myself.”
Conversation