The Augusta Masters has passed, the Grand National is complete, and Aberdeen FC beat Rangers 2-0 in the last pre-split fixture in the SPFL. These are critical sporting events because they signal the start of spring.
On Monday morning, I got up at 5.45am and – still feeling chipper from Sunday – I woke to birds chirping and the early sunrise. What a day to be alive: the Dons were awesome, a new working week had arrived, Rishi Sunak had almost got inflation to 10%, and Humza Yousaf had got a proper grip on government in Scotland. I truly stepped into this week with a metaphorically sunny outlook.
I think setting the scene is important. In the last few months, my columns have focused on inflation, the Bank of England, economic conditions, and folk felt these were informative but gloomy. I have taken a battering as a result.
A BBC producer was troubled by my SNP leanings, a P&J reader slaughtered me for being a Labour fan, then folk piled in over my Tory behaviours, because I was presented as a “business leader and economist” on the BBC debate. Did anyone know I was an economist and a business leader? Worryingly for the Lib Dems, I’ve never been associated with them.
Add to this that I’ve only managed two or three rounds of golf a week, and life has been tough. So, feeling spring arrive in Scotland is amazing and, on Monday, it arrived.
At 6.25, I left the house in a shirt, trousers and summer coat. What followed was spring in the north-east. Within six minutes (exactly) I was soaking and getting absolutely battered with hailstones. I could hear the mother-in-law in my head: “Cast nae cloot until May is oot!”
Later on Monday, the car failed its MOT – but the good news was that I could collect it on Tuesday, and I’d get a nice walk to the garage, along the Buchan Railway line, from Mintlaw to Longside.
Nae chance – it was 5C, raining and, there was a northerly like you wouldn’t believe. The result was a 20-metre flood of dubs, sharn and puddocks in the water at the start of the line at Mintlaw. This meant a 1k detour along the farm track at the top of the village, deep in mud and more freezing conditions.
Ah, Scotland in spring
After getting the car, I drove to work, my new windscreen wipers doing a brilliant job and my snow tyres working well, too. Then I saw the wee lambs – if there is a better sign of spring it could only be the daffodils which arrived and then realised it’s as cold as the Arctic and decided to die!
I looked at the wee lambs: they were not gambolling – they were lying down, seeking heat. The lambs literally buried themselves in a pile of manure to keep warm… Ah, Scotland in spring.
Up Mintlaw, there were a couple of other signs of the new season. The first was that, after a long winter of using radiators to dry clothes, the outdoor washing line is back in use.
The prevailing wind carries an unbelievable smell of slurry from a nearby farm right into the village. You know it’s a spring day because, when you bring the clothes in at 5pm, they smell terrible.
I am the village Victor Meldrew
I grew up in Cullen. Go there in spring and it’s all fresh winds, sunshine, ice cream and special microclimate – a different world. However, I wouldn’t swap Mintlaw for the world: the mother-in-law is here, the kids love the schools, and Friday night five-a-side allows me to express myself. My football ability has made me a lot of friends.
The local businesses are top notch, too. I see the same folk when out walking, which gives me a sense of certainty, and this is strangely reassuring. I wonder if they feel the same…
Honestly, the north-east doesn’t have a spring – there is winter from October to May and summer from June to September. Based on the success of the Stop Oil mob, it will be 7C in April 2035 and the Buchan line will be a canal, not a walk. The good news is that, up here, we’ll adapt and get a carthorse to drag the barges.
If you thought my outlook on economics was miserable, I daresay you now realise I am the village Victor Meldrew. I’m aye chavin’, though.
What I am positive about is that Duk equals Ballon d’or, and that Barry Robson will win us the Europa League. Things are looking up!
James Bream is CEO of Aberdeen-based Katoni Engineering and chair of DYW North East
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