I thought I was hallucinating after a meal at Donald Trump’s Dunes restaurant near Aberdeen.
It wasn’t the food, but my overactive imagination.
The restaurant nestles on the edge of the former president’s “best golf course in the world” and “great dunes of Scotland”.
It’s impossible not to think about him when you come here.
After all, news channels were full of stories about calls in the US for him to be charged with insurrection over the Capitol riots in Washington, and intense interest in his tax returns.
I wondered what it would be like if he strolled through the door again at his international golf links in Balmedie.
I suppose it would be the last thing they want to happen here given the current hoo-ha.
So I was pondering this as we rounded off our meal.
Suddenly I spied a large figure making a grand entrance; the waiters went up a gear in response, as though he was expected.
He was a tall, broad-shouldered chap with – this was significant, I thought – an impressive head of hair.
Surely not, it couldn’t be him: not Trump himself?
No it wasn’t, not surprisingly. But it was a celebrity after all – and almost as famous.
It was none other than Nick Knowles.
Yes, you know, the famous television presenter. He does DIY SOS and various quiz shows.
I have to say Mr Knowles looked resplendent in a tartan suit and appeared to be part of a larger group of guests.
If I was a committed celebrity spotter he would have gone straight in my little book, along with my train and plane numbers.
What on Earth was he doing here of all places? Had Trump put out an SOS to build something? Or maybe the TV celebrity just likes Scotland.
The latter seemed likely after I came across a Scottish newspaper interview in which he said he loved everything about Scotland and visited a lot.
He was quoted as saying that he even dreamed of buying a small Scottish castle and doing it up.
Now he was perusing the same menu as we had before disappearing back into an impressive lounge at one end of the dining room.
It’s funny who you might spot while dining out. But on a wet, windy Wednesday night in Aberdeenshire it was surreal.
I felt obliged to check with other diners in case I really was hallucinating, but they confirmed there was no doubt.
It gave us plenty to talk about on our way home, but let’s not forget the dining experience.
The Dunes Restaurant & Bar
The Dunes now flies a flag as the main outlet for dining options at the Trump course.
Its former sister restaurant – at Trump’s magnificent Macleod House a short distance away along the entrance driveway – now concentrates on commercial work, according to staff with whom I was chatting.
The restoration of the country mansion was a labour of love for the former president and it still takes your breath away.
The Dunes acts as a focal point for diners and golfers.
The food
It was a tight, business-like menu by no means overladen with dishes, so choosing passed off more quickly than a souffle rising.
I’ve lost count of the times Cullen skink has passed my lips down the years, but I succumbed to it yet again.
It certainly looked the part. A generous serving filled my bowl; brimming with warmth and creaminess.
The only thing lacking was seasoning.
All the best chefs say you can’t have fish with no salt. It’s just unnatural, so that was a bit underwhelming – especially at almost £13 a bowl.
I mentioned it to a waiter and they took a coffee off the bill for my trouble.
My wife had a better time teeing off by trying two “Golfers’ Birdie Bites” small starters.
Her sticky barbecue chicken wings were tasty and plentiful, but overshadowed the nachos on the other plate which weren’t.
We were seated at a table next to a superb lounge for guests to relax in, with sumptuous leather seating, elegant walnut wall panels, roaring fire and topped off with a large chandelier.
It was a classy place.
As it happened, we had now moved on to another pair of classics: fish and chips for my wife and chilli con carne for me.
The best chilli con carnes for me come with a thick, rich sauce.
There was minced beef, steamed rice and – joy of joys – plenty of seasoning. But no sauce.
It just looked odd; as though it had boiled dry. Or maybe it was meant to have no sauce.
I quickly consulted online food guides and even the BBC said “the saucy mince mixture must be thick, moist and juicy”.
I didn’t mention it this time. They might have thought I was a troublemaker.
My wife’s fish and chips was a stunner – a large white fillet in the lightest of batter, with hand-cut fries. It lived up to its £22.50 price tag.
I skipped pudding because I was full (I have to confess, I had eaten some of her excellent fish).
But she tried something completely off-piste to her usual favourites – poached pear flambé with cherry sorbet.
What a delicious, lovely-looking pudding to round off our visit.
The verdict
We enjoyed our experience overall for atmosphere and service, and would happily return.
But as all builders like Nick Knowles would know, it’s the small details which need watching.
Information
Address: The Dunes Restaurant & Bar at Trump International, Menie Estate, Balmedie, Aberdeen AB23 8YE
T: 01358 743300
Price: £93.80 for two starters, two mains, one dessert and three coffees
Scores
- Food: 3/5
- Service: 4/5
- Surroundings: 4/5
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