A terminally ill man is leaving his life in America to move to Moray – so he can donate his kidney to his great-nephew.
Joe Gresham wants to spend his final months surrounded by his loved ones in Hopeman, but is also determined to do all he can for baby Rico, who was born with chronic kidney disease.
The 53-year-old was diagnosed with motor neurone disease (MND) in the summer and is already struggling to walk, so is keen to get home before his condition deteriorates further.
He and his wife Tracy – and their four border collies – will leave New Jersey next month to return to the UK.
The couple have lived in the US for 21 years, and only recently moved from Texas with Mr Gresham’s work as an engineer. They had planned to return to Austin in January as he received a promotion, however, the accelerated aggression of his condition “scuppered everything”.
Mr Gresham, whose family arrived in Hopeman from Wales after his father was stationed at RAF Lossiemouth, said: “Because we are so new to New Jersey, we don’t really know any people here, and I knew that it would basically mean Tracy would be left looking after me and the dogs on her own – and then ultimately, totally on her own in the US.
“I knew she would want to be back in the UK and, to be honest, I do as well. I have enjoyed living in the USA, but the UK has always been home.”
Mrs Gresham, also 53, said: “He became a little bit uncertain about his dexterity and began to have a few problems with swallowing about May-June time.
“They did a few tests between August and November and now, he can barely walk and he’s losing his voice.
“Leaving the states has been a difficult decision, but it’s where the family is and it is where we need to be.”
As well as looking out for his wife of nine years, Mr Gresham is keen to help his niece Katie Thompson’s seven-month-old son Rico, who is struggling with his own health problems.
Mrs Gresham added: “He is in need of a kidney, and if Joe is going to succumb to this condition, if there’s any way possible he can survive long enough he would like to be a suitable kidney donor for little Rico.”
Mrs Thomson said she was touched by her uncle’s selfless act, and the way he was always thinking of others.
Rico, who was born prematurely, is still too small for the transplant, with doctors advising the family they want to wait until he is two or three.
His 24-year-old mother said: “Even before the diagnosis, Uncle Joe said if he can help, he will, but Rico is not big enough for a transplant yet. It will be another year before the family will be tested to see if they are a match for a live donor.
“Uncle Joe and my dad, Tim, are the same. They just stay head strong and positive. I’m very much like them, so we will just hope things go as good as they can.”
She and the rest of the family are busy getting ready for Mr and Mrs Gresham’s arrival, and are rallying around to get their home ready.
The mother-of-three added: “We are just excited because we haven’t seen them because they live so far away.
“With the circumstances, it’s really hard for us.
“I don’t deal with it well. I just pretend it’s not happening.
“Because there’s not a good outcome for Uncle Joe at the end, we are just trying to make it the best experience for him coming back up here again.
“I think he is quite headstrong and he’s not bothered about himself. He worries more about the dogs and making sure Auntie Tracy is all right. Those dogs are their babies.
“He has kind of accepted the condition really well and he is just trying to think of them.”
Arteriovenous malformation
Despite the inevitability of his situation, Mr Gresham said he is at peace because he feels he has already escaped death once.
The Mensa member said: “When I was 33, I was diagnosed with arteriovenous malformation (AVM) to the brain, and I had to go into hospital for surgery.
“They gave me a risk assessment, and they said ‘there’s a 40% chance of death, there’s a 60% chance of this happening and an 80% chance you will be able to walk’. It was pretty grim, but the other option was a 99% chance I was going to die without surgery. I went in thinking this could be it.
“But I came away pretty much intact. I had to learn how to read again, but my intelligence hadn’t been affected and I was able to retest for Mensa.
“In a way, that has helped me this time around because I have lived the last 20 years as every day is a bonus, so I have very much enjoyed life.
“This time around, when they say I have a 0% chance of survival, it is a case of, ‘well, I have got 20 more years than I thought I was going to get’, so the goal now is to make it as easy for Tracy to transition on after I’m gone, and see if I can help little Rico before I go.”