Having someone you know die by suicide is devastating. There is no other word to describe it.
You can feel like you are lost and abandoned, you can feel hopeless and ashamed. As with all deaths, you miss your loved one and you grieve for them, but the manner of their passing somehow makes it worse. It infuses the already painful process with regret, remorse and often guilt.
Many of us have had people we love die by suicide. For most, this is a life-altering event – one which can disrupt your whole way of being, your relationships, your work and, indeed, your mental health.
Those grieving a loved one who died by suicide are 65% more likely to end their life by suicide themselves. Supporting people who have had a loved one die of suicide is vital in stopping suicides in the future.
Suicide is far too common in Scotland, and its effects are much further reaching than many would imagine. We know that 135 people are directly affected by every suicide.
The death of someone in this way massively impacts communities, it hollows them out, and this can be even more devastating in remote and rural locations where those communities are small and tightly knit.
A total of 762 people died by suicide in Scotland during 2022. That number is far too high in itself, but it also means that 102,870 people were directly affected by suicide last year. That is about the same as the population of Inverness and Perth combined.
Suicide bereavement support service has improved and saved lives
For two years now, Change Mental Health and our partners Penumbra Mental Health have been delivering a suicide bereavement support service across the Highlands, Ayrshire and Arran. This is a vital service that supports people affected by the suicide of a loved one.
An independent evaluation has just been published, and the results are glowing. One person said that, before they received support, they “just wanted to die”. “I didn’t want to be alive anymore,” they explained, “But I don’t feel like I actually want to die now. Without the service, I maybe wouldn’t be here, to be honest.”
The impact of the Suicide Bereavement Support Service is huge.
We are delighted to see this evaluation report and we can't wait to work further with @MareeToddMSP & @penumbra_scot to make sure everyone has access to this vital support.
Find out more about our delivery in… https://t.co/DDh1oXJ00c pic.twitter.com/ki5uQECZVw
— Change Mental Health (@changemh_) September 27, 2023
Someone else talked about how the service helped them better come to terms with what had happened. Before, even mentioning the name of their son was too painful, but now they feel they can begin to engage with his memory.
The voices of those supported by the service speak for themselves, and make clear the difference it has made to their lives. The independent report found that the service was incredibly responsive, giving support that really fluxed and flexed depending on what people needed – just as all mental health help should.
Scottish Government must do their bit to support people during their darkest times
Now that we know our services are having such a positive impact in the north and Ayrshire, we want the Scottish Government to roll them out across Scotland. Everyone, no matter where they live, deserves support when they have been bereaved as a result of suicide. Every death hurts, but when someone you love dies by suicide, the aftermath is complex.
People need specialist, comprehensive and flexible support to help them navigate through their emotions and feelings of grief. We are calling on the Scottish Government to learn from this pilot and extend the service out across the country.
The Scottish Government has a history of funding innovative solutions to problems and then, regretfully, failing to fund their rollout
We need to applaud the government for having the foresight to fund the pilot in the first place. Leaders correctly identified the need and enabled Change Mental Health and Penumbra Mental Health to deliver it.
However, the Scottish Government has a history of funding innovative solutions to problems and then, regretfully, failing to fund their rollout, allowing the excellent learning and support to disappear. This is an opportunity to demonstrate that funding a pilot is just the first step towards creating a solution that works for everyone across the country.
Now that we know what works, we need to invest to make sure that everyone gets the support they need, often at their darkest time. That is the kind of vision and leadership required now in order to avert more suicides in the future and to keep more of our loved ones alive.
Nick Ward is CEO of national charity Change Mental Health
