Former 5ive star Abz Love has said he “met the devil” in the midst of his drug addiction.
The singer said he contemplated jumping into the Thames during one of his lower moments before he got clean.
The musician, whose real name is Richard Abidin Breen, said his addiction began after the band split up, telling ITV’s Loose Women: “I come from Hackney so my background was no money, my folks weren’t rich or anything like that, so literally overnight you’re a success, you have too much too soon.”
He added: “I went away and lived this life, amazing, of course there were ups and downs.
“We sold 20 million, all looking great, everything’s fabulous and then really the stuff started happening after the band split because that was my life line, them guys were like my family.”
He continued: “After that the band kind of went downhill, we split up.
“I didn’t want to split up, I didn’t have any friends or family at the time so I just sort of took it into my own hands and started hanging around the wrong people, started being influenced by the wrong things, suggestions, and the next thing you know…”
Love, who will be the subject of a Channel 5 documentary about his addiction on Wednesday, said he started paying people to spend time with him because he did not trust his family and friends.
He said: “You feel like you just go inside yourself, you’re very insular and you don’t trust anybody and that is a big thing.
“I didn’t realise I needed people, you need friends.
“It got to the point where – my worst point – where I had this penthouse and I had no money at all.
“I was just bankrupt at the same time they were going to foreclose, take my house, I had no furniture, no cutlery, no anything like that.
“I would be on the corner of my penthouse, I was on the Thames, just thinking about jumping, because what is the point?”
Asked about reaching his lowest point, he said: “There was a few incidents, I met the devil as well, which is pretty far out.
“It looked like me, I don’t know what it was. I was so far off and I remember my heart palpitations felt like they were punching through my chest into the mattress.
“It happened twice and I heard a voice say one more time, ‘you’ve got one more time and that’s it, we are going to take you’.
“Not exactly like that, but I knew I needed to sort my life out.”
The singer, who is now sober, said he is only in touch with one of his former bandmates, Jason ‘J’ Brown.
He said: “I’m in touch with one of them, I’m in touch with J, but the other boys are doing their thing, still out and about, I wish them luck.”