Does the thought of stepping outside without a mobile phone send you into a minor panic? Would you find it difficult to go 15 minutes without being able to check for new tweets and status updates? Is it too much to ask you to sit still for a few minutes, without resorting to firing miffed-looking birds at green pigs?
If you answered yes to all or most of those questions, you might be suffering from Nomophobia. This is the recently coined – made up – fear of being without one’s mobile phone.
Anyone seeking treatment for this growing condition could do a lot worse than a course of tough-love therapy at the secluded village of Pennan, nestled on the Aberdeenshire coast between Fraserburgh and Banff.
Once you’ve made it down the steep brae leading to the picture-postcard, one-street settlement, you’ll find there is no phone reception.
Want to Instagram a picture of the spectacular view? Forget it. Need to send a text? It’ll have to wait. Hoping to play Words With Friends? You’re on your own.
If, like me, you spend most of your evenings with a smartphone glued to your hand, you will find Pennan an exhilarating experience. It’s as if the village itself gives you permission to switch off and enjoy the world around you.
The village, with a population of fewer than 50, is best known as the backdrop to Bill Forsyth’s 1983 comedy, Local Hero.
Tourists still flock from all over the world to have their picture taken next to the village’s red phone box, which became an icon after featuring in the movie’s heartbreaking final shot. Although, the one in the film was actually a prop which was set up next to the real one.
And beside the phone box – which still works, by the way – is the Pennan Inn, arguably Scotland’s most famous pub.
It is little wonder that villagers campaigned for the hotel’s retention after it closed its doors in August 2007, coincidentally on the same day that a series of landslides caused massive damage to homes at the other end of the village.
Just over a year later, residents breathed a sigh of relief when the hotel was taken over by Turriff couple Peter and Nikki Simpson.
The pair have breathed fresh life into the establishment, making it once again one of the north-east’s most popular culinary hotspots.
Myself, my wife and our 10-year-old daughter arrived at the hotel – which has three en suite bedrooms – on a quiet, drizzly Saturday afternoon.
We walked into the impressive, but compact, main bar, which is adorned with Local Hero memorabilia and framed P&J clippings from the time of the shoot.
Friendly bar staff showed us into a brightly decorated back room. Again, Local Hero features heavily in the decor, with a huge, original cinema poster and Mark Knopfler’s vinyl soundtrack also on display.
Anyone expecting standard pub fare is in for a pleasant surprise. The extensive menu, which changes regularly depending on available ingredients, boasts a range of “pub classics”, including Macduff-landed haddock and chips, Aberdeenshire steak garni and stroganoff.
But the real treat is the varied “From the Wok” section of the menu, featuring delicacies such as Thai chicken curry, stir-fried chicken with cashew nuts and stir-fried mixed vegetables.
I opted for the 8oz rump steak at £12.50, although the 10oz rump was very tempting, albeit nearly double the price.
My wife went for the more ambitious yellow tofu curry – a vegan dish served with a creamy sauce and Thai jasmine rice.
My daughter, a life-long fan of fish ever since she decided she wanted to be a penguin, had a half portion of haddock.
For starters, she selected the hot-smoked salmon salad, while I chose the creamy garlic mushrooms.
All dishes go down a treat. The appetisers are both delicious, very well presented and do their job of getting the tastebuds going, without filling you up too much.
My medium-grilled steak was pretty much perfect and the crispy chips were expertly cooked.
Apparently, good tofu is hard to come by in this part of Scotland, but my wife assures me this was some of the best she has ever tasted.
And the haddock was a big hit with penguin-girl. Despite her protests, a half portion – less than half price – was more than enough to satisfy.
Our only slight disappointment came with the pudding. We had hoped for a portion of ice cream, but were told it was unavailable because the hotel’s freezer was on the blink.
The alternative choice, chocolate brownie, more than made up for it, but more than that, we were really impressed that such a great three-course meal was prepared without the need for a freezer, using only fresh ingredients.
In the Local Hero movie, American “Mac” MacIntyre falls in love with the fictional village of Ferness, which he is meant to take-over to clear the way for an oil refinery. After spending an afternoon in Pennan and the Pennan Inn, you will understand why.