Don’t listen to popular music — there’s nothing weird, sad or awkward about going out by yourself.
A whole heap of songs try to convince you otherwise – everything from Robyn’s Dancing on My Own to Harry Nielson’s much-covered One is the Loneliest Number; all throwing shade on the solo experience.
I, on the other hand, much prefer Me Party, a song from the 2011 Muppets movie in which Miss Piggy and Amy Adams extol the virtues of a party for one.
Great conversation, Miss Piggy sings, no need to wait for others to show up and, best of all: “There’s no one at this party that I don’t already know.”
So when I heard that Aberdeen bistro Cafe Boehme had just been named by restaurant booking platform OpenTable as one of the top 50 “perfect spots” for solo diners, I immediately reserved a table.
Dinner is one of three things everyone should try on their own
I know people who would rather stick their face in a bowl of hot soup than dine alone. But not me.
Dinner at a nice restaurant, along with karaoke and going abroad, is one of three things I believe everyone should try on their own at least once.
I’m no introvert — far from it. I always talk to the person sitting next to me on a plane (sorry).
But there’s a comfort in eating alone; a security, a sense of independence.
Only once has it backfired — in a Burger King when a kindly woman bought me a cheeseburger because she thought I was homeless.
And anyway, what’s up with people who can’t spend an hour or so in their own company?
As my friend Jono’s grandmother used to say, not being able to be by yourself is just “poverty of personality”.
Table for one? Yes, please
Not that you are really on your own in a restaurant.
When I walked into Cafe Boheme on Wednesday evening, the place was more than half full — plenty of people to talk to if I wanted.
A friendly waiter showed me to a perfectly-sized table for two, which is where one of the key benefits of solo dining comes into play. It was perfectly sized for one, not necessarily two.
One of my bugbears about eating as a couple is that those two-seaters can often leave you feeling a bit vulnerable, elbows just waiting to be knocked by folk nipping to the toilet.
But on my own, the table swaddled me. And, I was tucked neatly into a corner, allowing for that grandest of solo dining pastimes — people watching!
Around me were the usual restaurant guests — two middle-aged guys ordering medium-rare steaks, a married couple sat in silence and another married couple who wouldn’t shut up.
I couldn’t see any other single tables but when the waiter came back for my order (sea bass, please!) he confirmed the restaurant gets quite a few.
He wasn’t exactly sure why Cafe Boheme topped the rankings for eating alone but he said he always gives them a warm welcome and is perfectly happy for people to sit and read a book or put their headphones in.
“Or have a chat,” he adds. “Whatever they want. If they want to be left alone, we will.”
Why the mobile phone is a boon for solo dining at Cafe Boheme
My food arrives and I take my time savouring the fish — required practice when dining alone; if you don’t you might accidentally hoover everything up in five minutes.
But without anyone to bother you, you can really enjoy the food, rather than thinking of what topic to debate next.
Plus, I had on hand the friend to all solo diners — my mobile phone.
Back in the day, if you needed a diversion, you had to drag a book to the restaurant. Now you’ve not only got your book on a phone, there’s also crosswords, games and long-read feature stories to keep you occupied.
A lot more interesting than talking about what box sets I’m watching.
Dessert but no coffee – why it’s an early night for solo diners
Dessert arrives — a wonderful creme brulee. I didn’t order a starter, which is perfect when solo because you don’t have to watch someone eat while you hungrily wait for food.
The pudding was delicious. Actually, I’d say the main reason Cafe Boheme is a top pick for solo diners is simply because the food is excellent.
We may not have any friends, but we’re not idiots.
That said, when the waiter asks if I want a coffee to end the meal, I politely decline and instead ask for the bill.
A coffee will keep me up all night. And as a single diner, what’s the point of that?
Conversation