You should realise pretty quickly that things are not going well when a member of the Royal Family, whose vocation in life is pretty much to shake hands and look pleased to see everyone, greets you by saying: “Back again… dear, oh dear.”
His Majesty King Charles III is, of course, the very soul of discretion and good manners, but you could argue that his role is also to reflect his subjects in thought, word and deed.
His reaction to the arrival of Prime Minister Liz Truss – destined to be forever known as the founder of the ill-conceived Trussonomics fiasco – for their weekly audience last week is now indelibly inscribed in all our heads.
He has been holding these meet-and-greet things a long time, so our silver fox monarch would have known what he was doing and its effect. It would be treasonous to suggest otherwise, I think.
Then, on Friday, the PM sacked Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng and sidelined Treasury Chief Secretary Chris Philp for the £45 billion package of unfunded tax cuts they had cobbled together. Nothing to do with herself, then, and her promises in the leadership campaign? Apparently not.
Later, I heard the BBC’s Chris Mason say that Liz Truss had binned two planks of her programme for government. I didn’t hear those last five words.
“Dear, oh dear,” I thought. When I heard that first P word, I hoped these were direct quotes from the PM, otherwise Mason was going to be in trouble for referring to her ex-colleagues as planks. Happily for him, it was made clear that the planks were merely elements of her fiscal policy.
What about her fracking policy? Liz Truss decided, without much information, to go ahead in parts of Britain.
A wag came up with an idea. He found a proposed fracking site near Blackpool, which he’d located on Google Maps. He amended the name to the Liz Truss Career Memorial. The name change was accepted. Sadly, the killjoys at Google have since noticed new cheeky “reviews”, and have suspended it. Dear, oh dear.
Don’t give them the time of day
We were reviewing things we saw en route when, before lockdown, Mrs X and I went picnicking around Sutherland. Suddenly, through the trees, we spotted the majestic sight that is Carbisdale Castle, near Ardgay. What a pile.
She insisted the tower had clocks on only three faces. The side facing Sutherland is blank
Having been a hostel for decades, until 10 years ago, it’s in the news again, as it’s just been bought. I remember people saying one of the clock faces on the castle tower was missing. Oops, it must have fallen off. How clumsy.
Yon castle took 12 years to build and was finished in 1917 for Mary Caroline, the Duchess of Sutherland, and second wife of the third Duke of Sutherland.
The duke popped his clogs in 1892, and there was the usual growling and eye-gouging over his will. It was agreed that the duchess could build a castle, but outside the Sutherland Estate. She picked ground really close, just to spite her late husband’s family. She insisted the tower had clocks on only three faces. The side facing Sutherland is blank.
That’s apparently because the duchess didn’t wish to give her late husband’s family “the time of day”. Dear, oh dear. That’s funny, though. The auld duchess had a sense of humour.
SNP appears to have given up on ferries
If we want to leave these islands, we need to take a plane or a ferry. The planes are expensive, even with the enticing offers from the recently up-for-sale Loganair airline, which is filling my inbox with colourful invitations to tan the Maciver body on the English Riviera and, interestingly, in Dublin’s fair city. The Guinness may be very quaffable, but it’s not the holiday destination which immediately springs to mind.
If there was an election looming on the horizon, it would sharpen their focus. Instead, they witter on about referendums
Now, the talk here is of a locally-run ferry service, because the service to the islands from the CalMac bosses in Gourock is seen as being, er, rubbish. Old ferries not being properly maintained or replaced, loads of cancellations, passengers travelling due to family emergencies being left stuck too often.
The SNP government, the ultimate owner, appears to have given up, and seems to accept the depopulation which will result if it just does nothing. SNP politicians, local and national, won’t discuss it. No plan, no clue.
If there was an election looming on the horizon, it would sharpen their focus. Instead, they witter on about referendums and, of course, the faltering Tory leadership. Hey, that’s my job.
SNP politicians seem to have little to say on anything else just now. They should be on the streets, protesting about the cost of living, because we know how the price of everything is getting – dear, oh very dear.
Iain Maciver is a former broadcaster and news reporter from the Outer Hebrides
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