Jacqueline Wake Young: Scotland’s giant pandas are a big pair of divas

Giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang are returning to China as their 10-year loan to Edinburgh Zoo comes to an end, having spent a decade doing as little as possible

By Jacqueline Wake Young

December 2 2023, 6:00 am

Giant panda Yang Guang has a hectic morning at Edinburgh Zoo, as visitors have one last chance to see him and Tian Tian before they go back to China. Image: Jane Barlow/PA Wire.

I’ll be glad to see the backs of those two slackers Tian Tian and Yang Guang who are returning to China after a 10-year residency at Edinburgh Zoo.

Talk about spoilt. When I visited I couldn’t believe the enormity of the panda enclosure and found myself apologising to the apes on their behalf.

(For the record, the apes wanted me to reassure you they are pretty chill about the whole situation.)

The giant celebrity pandas live in a hilltop des res as impressive as Holyrood House with grounds to rival Princes Street Gardens.

A royal welcome

They attract more visitors than the royal palace and their VIP status is such that soon after their arrival, Princess Anne was summoned to meet them.

Having jetted to Scotland on the ‘FedEx Panda Express’ on December 4, 2011, Tian Tian and Yang Guang made it clear they wouldn’t be making any babies.

They would instead be spending almost all of the next decade munching leaves, lazing about and ignoring each other.

Tian Tian keeps herself busy at Edinburgh Zoo before her return to China. Image: Danny Lawson/PA Wire.

These two fluffy couch potatoes were dubbed “rock star pandas” which no doubt miffed the meerkats who thought they were the stars thanks to TV adverts and a nature series.

Edinburgh Zoo’s sister property is Highland Wildlife Park which has polar bears and they’re a lot more fun.

The pandas have the prima donna traits of rock stars but none of the talent.

I refuse to believe they only had bamboo shoots on their rider. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were orange M&Ms and chilled Bolly on there as well.

Fussy eaters

Sounding ever so slightly like Mariah Carey’s personal assistant, zookeeper Michael Livingston tried to make out their diva demands were adorable.

“They needed a bit more attention, they were sensitive,“ he told the BBC, adding that they insisted their bamboo was in season.

“Some species they won’t eat at certain times of the year,” he said.

A polar bear at Highland Wildlife Park spies something to play with in the water. Image: RZSS.

Yet with all this pampering, they couldn’t even pretend to get along, if only for the panda cam.

They couldn’t be bothered to do anything at all as far as I can tell. When I saw them, Tian Tian was snoring in her bed and Yang Guang was snoring in his treehouse the entire visit.

On Thursday one reporter got quite excited because one of them may or may not have put one paw in front of the other.

I don’t even know why the zoo announced its star attractions will be gone soon. They could have put two cuddly toys from the gift shop into the enclosure and no-one would have noticed the difference.

Which camera am I on? A meerkat at Edinburgh Zoo. Image: Shutterstock.

An opportunity for red pandas?

Zoo staff insisted they are sorry to see the pandas leave, but I think it’ll be like when Elton John ended his six-year residency at The Collosseum in Caesars Palace, Las Vegas.

Keepers won’t have to deal with celebrity demands, it won’t be the same show day in, day out and there won’t be overexcited fans jostling for the best views of the stage.

Best of all, the undiscovered acts playing in a room off the lobby will get more audience attention.

I’m thinking of the shy red pandas, who don’t seek the limelight but who are effortlessly entertaining and don’t cost one million dollars a year to ‘rent’ from China.

Even Linda Evangelista might occasionally get out of bed for that, if you don’t count weekends and bank holidays.

A red panda takes an overview from a branch. Image: Shutterstock.

Snow and steam trains

Of course there are plenty of other things to do for days out in Scotland and skiers will be happy after snow came early to the Lecht Ski Centre and the Cairngorm Mountain Resort.

Train enthusiasts meanwhile will be interested to hear the Jacobite Steam Train was given a three-month exemption to operate with ‘slam doors’.

The Jacobite Steam Train, nicknamed the Hogwarts Express, crossing the Glenfinnan viaduct. Image: Stephen Lawson | Edinburgh Elite media.

The centuries-old locking system does not conform to modern standards and certain heritage locomotives need an exemption to run.

These include The Flying Scotsman and the Jacobite Steam Train, nicknamed the Hogwarts Express because of its links to the Harry Potter franchise.

This week the Ministry of Magic, alright, the Office of Rail and Road, said the Jacobite train could take bookings until February 2024.

High price to upgrade

The cost of upgrading a central locking system has been put at £7million by operator West Coast Railways.

So unless it can conjure up a pile of Galleons, the future of both heritage trains will remain as up in the air as Harry and Ron flying over the Glenfinnan Viaduct in an enchanted Ford Anglia.