Roundabouts are ingenious feats of civil engineering. They avoid the need to wait at lights when there’s no traffic coming the other way.
An absolutely fantastic invention that puts John Peake Knight’s system invention in 1868, the traffic lights, in the shade. Actually, he didn’t invent anything. He just adapted the railway lights he had worked on to put onto busy roads and crossroads, instead of policemen.
Previously the country’s policemen were required to raise their arms to halt and beckon drivers on. When traffic lights were brought in, they were relieved of these time-consuming duties. They could go back to the station to put their feet up.
Live at the Manor Roundabout Stornoway the phenomenal island sensation that is #PeatAndDiesel 😁😁🤣 @peat_diesel pic.twitter.com/tI0UQhSaYu
— Angus B MacNeil MP (@AngusMacNeilSNP) February 23, 2019
Maybe bigger roundabouts are more attractive, as flowers or small sculptures can be placed on them. It has even been known for a small band of strolling musicians to be put in the middle of a roundabout to play live and help pass an afternoon. That was the case when Peat and Diesel had a short-term residency on the Manor Park roundabout in Stornoway one fine Saturday in 2019. Tubs of daffodils are so boring by comparison.
Tarbert’s ‘invisible’ roundabout
Kevin Beresford, from the Midlands, doesn’t think roundabouts are boring. Kevin likes roundabouts so much he founded the UK Roundabout Appreciation Society and, for 17 years, has been making calendars with pictures of his favourites. He even organises a worldwide competition to find Roundabout of the Year. The 69-year-old is the dullest man in Britain. I can say that because he openly admits it.
Which brings me to the new mini-roundabout in Tarbert, on the Isle of Harris. You can’t miss it. It’s like a red LP record in the road at the new ferry terminal. It’s a bit bigger than 12 inches, obviously.
The point is that many drivers down there just don’t see it, completely ignore it or have no idea they should keep left. A survey by a local videographer the other day showed that more people were keeping right and not bothering to go round it than were keeping left.
Don’t expect the Tarbert mini-roundabout to feature on Kevin’s calendars. A local said to me: “That new roundabout is in Tarbert but I don’t want you putting in the paper that everyone driving badly coming to it is from Tarbert.” Perish the thought.
He then added: “Some of the worst offenders are from Scalpay, you know.” I wouldn’t pick on people who live in Tarbert, Angus. The ones from the nearby island of Scalpay, though? I’m not so sure…
A three-year trek
Daniel Mcneil, however, I’m very sure of. The Royal Artillery veteran from Dumfries is walking round the UK to raise cash and awareness for the armed forces’ charity, the Soldiers Sailors and Airmen’s Families Association (SSAFA).
Mrs X and I met Daniel last week in Achmore. She says: “There’s that funny wee man with the flag again. He was in Harris the other day. Stop the car until I find out what’s going on.”
"I had put up a cry for help on Twitter and that’s when @SSAFA got in touch with me and sorted my wellbeing out and helped with my finances."
'Former soldier Daniel McNeil undertaking 3-year trek around Britain for life-saving charity' via @Daily_Record https://t.co/jRGd6smbke
— SSAFA (@SSAFA) October 15, 2021
Hearing Daniel is just seven months into his three-year trek around the British coast, she ended up making a donation and offering Daniel the cakes from Stag bakery we had for our day working in Uig. Turns out the footsore and wet-through Daniel was also lactose intolerant.
“Not to worry,” said Mrs X, helpfully, “have some toffee.” Poor Daniel looked at her and shook his head. Ah, milk, cream, can’t have, sorry. He did accept the offer of the Coke that I was looking forward to having at our picnic stop. Cakes and toffees are so dry without a drink, I found.
A personal police service
It was a dry night when a Scalpay driver headed home from Stornoway and got flagged down by police for driving too slowly in Manor Park. He was given a fixed penalty of £70. Not being able to go and easily pay it, he stumped up there and then.
Composing himself after the shock, he crawls off. He is stopped again. “It’s OK. I was too slow. Here’s my £70.” He goes outside, takes a breath of air and sets off again at a snail’s pace. Again, he is flagged down and reluctantly hands over another £70.
This time the Scalpach wanted to know more. He asked the officer why so many patrols were out in Stornoway catching unwary drivers. The officer says: “You’re from Scalpay, right? I’ll do you a favour. Just follow my car and we will get you off this roundabout.”