Surveys are very important, you know. Not just the surveys on your house when you want to find out how much you can sell it for, or whether it is in danger of falling down.
I mean all these surveys you see in the papers about the best holiday spot in the UK, or what you think about the government, or income tax, and so on. The latest one I have seen is about the most pricey cities to be a motorist.
So, it turns out that Preston and Bradford are the most expensive, if you count the cost there of insurance, car parking, vehicle repairs, and so on. Some of the cheapest places to be a motorist are in Penwith, the furthest away part of Cornwall, and the good old Western Isles. Ooh, nice to get a mention anyway.
Apparently, insurance for the islands’ postcodes is among the lowest in the UK, like the Scilly Isles and Orkney. I saw that it is often miscalculated because we are such low risk. So, Confused.com must be getting very confused.
Mind you, the cost of motoring here may be going up for some. Ian Ross, mechanic to the gentry and newspaper columnists, is not retiring but closing his Stornoway garage and moving his hoist to Bayble-by-the-Sea.
It will take longer to get there, but the banter and the generous discounts to regular customers may keep some of us making that journey to the back of beyond, and back. Heck, Ian, a plug that in the paper must be worth an oil change or two?
Talking of being on the oil, the National Pub and Bar Awards have come round again. Did you really not know? The first part is actually over, and the best regional hostelries around the country have already been chosen ahead of the national final, when the best pub in the whole of the UK will become a must-visit for any self-respecting boozer with mates who will be on call to be designated drivers.
Not that the islands will have any chance, with the “North West Scotland” region taking in places like Argyll and Bute and Stirlingshire. What is that all about?
Wait. Well, I never. The Cross Inn in Ness here on Lewis is in the final. Excellent.
The Cross Inn was closed for many years and is now back on the guga pub crawl scene like it had never gone away. The Ness Social Club, then the Cross Inn and… Er, that’s it.
Still, it is doing the business when it is impressing not just the mystery drinkers from the awards, but visitors, too. The comments on review sites like TripAdvisor are also taken into account. Nice one.
I see the Ben Nevis pub in Fort William has also been made a finalist. Well done to them, too. I would love to check it out, but the Fort is not on the NC500 route, so maybe next time.
Oh, dear, no finalists in Inverness this time. That is a surprise. We may just have to go to finalist Old Mill Inn, out near Forres in Moray. Is it too far to go to Aberdeen to check out the winning Siberia Bar there? We’ll see.
It must be a great job choosing the best pub in a region. Fancy going around every night and quaffing ale and downing drams – and putting it all on expenses. I could do that.
Claiming back the NC500
There will be no expenses claim, but I may do some of that soon when Mrs X and I go on our upcoming tour round the North Coast 500. Well, you have to, don’t you?
Why leave the magnificent sights of Scotland to tourists from Englandshire, and beyond, with their monster campervans, their capsule toilets and their dirty habits? OK, maybe not all of them, but enough to make us fed up of them.
So, we are planning a day or seven going round the coast of bonnie Scotland. The furthest up the west coast I have been is Lochinver and, I think, Golspie on the east. There is life, beaches and toilets beyond them, we are told.
Beaches? Oh, yes, I am planning a dip or two. I have my bathing suit. I call it a suit, but it’s just an upcycled pair of Y-fronts. See, I’m thinking of the environment all the time, even on holiday.
Not everyone understands the questions they are being asked in a survey. A man from Harris was called up by the people from the opinion surveys last year and was asked his views on the huge increase in fuel prices. He replied: “What huge increase? I always get £50 worth of fuel and no one has ever asked me for a penny more.”
Iain Maciver is a former broadcaster and news reporter from the Outer Hebrides
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