Ahead of her appearance at Belladrum, pop superstar Paloma Faith
talks exclusively to Susan Welsh about the highs and lows of motherhood, music and the story behind some of those outrageous outfits…
Paloma Faith had set the cat among the pigeons.
On the day I caught up with her to chat about her forthcoming appearance at the Belladrum Tartan Heart Festival in August, she was at the centre of a media storm after declaring “motherhood is hell”.
In an interview, she’d talked candidly about becoming a mum; her struggles with parenthood and revealed she was forced to cut her maternity leave short after discovering, during a call to her accountant, that she was not “well off”.
Her honesty resulted in a huge amount of TV, radio and press coverage – some negative, some positive.
But the multi-award-winning singer stands by her opinions and told me: “I don’t think I put the cat among the pigeons because it’s true!” said Paloma, 36.
“You don’t have a choice, you just have to get on with it, and at first you think, is this it? This is impossible.
“Then one day you wake up and think, it’s okay, I’m actually doing this!”
She and her partner, Leyman Lahicine, became parents in December 2016 after she gave birth by emergency caesarean. Neither has revealed the sex of their child but have said the child will be raised gender neutral.
And while she’d feel happy singing in front of thousands of fans, she discovered that when it came to bringing up a baby in the wee small hours, her confidence vanished…
“Everyone is different but my own experience was that I did feel lonely at night,” said Paloma.
“Some people find that a really beautiful time and experience, but I found it lonely. I was clock watching, waiting for everyone in the world to wake up.”
Did she, I wondered, use those long moments of lonely silence to compose new material?
After laughing out loud she replied: “Definitely not!
“My brain was so frozen I was like a vegetable, and had so much anxiety about whether I’d ever be able to write a song again. I have always found it very difficult to write songs in the moment, when something is happening,” she said.
“I usually have to wait and do it in hindsight as things have to flow over me. Somehow I have to regain clarity before I can look backwards and think, ‘so that’s what you were feeling then’.”
Looking back on those early days of parenthood she said: “People would tell me they thought I had post-natal depression but I’d say definitely not, definitely not. But actually I think that is what was happening to me.
“I feel I lost myself and got a bit broken, but now I wouldn’t change it for the world. I feel that I’d know what to expect next time and because of that it won’t hit me so hard.”
So does that mean we could expect to hear the pitter-patter of another set of tiny feet soon?
“You go through all that then think, I know, I’ll have another one and make my life even worse,” she said.
“We would like to have a second child. But at the same time I’m terrified – I barely manage to do it as it is, but you can’t live your life being scared.
“I was raised an only child and while I never felt I’d missed out on anything in childhood, in adulthood I feel like I’m missing out not having a brother or a sister.
“For my mum, more than anything, I’d love to know I had a sibling popping round to see her while I’m away travelling. And for my own child, it would have been nice for them to be part on an extended, close family.”
She and her mum, a former teacher, are very close, and it’s mum the BRIT Award-winning singer has to thank for her love of OTT stage costumes…
“I used to love to dress up as a little girl,” said Paloma.
“My mum worked in primary schools which didn’t get much funding, so she became really good at making amazing costumes for the kids out of paper, net, card and a staple gun.
“I always used to win fancy dress competitions with outfits she’d made for me, such as a fairy – I was quite a fat kid so I’d look cute as a fat fairy.
“One outfit I remember her making was a Charlie Chaplin costume. She made the bowler hat out of cardboard.
“Everyone thought it was such a good costume and the adults were calling my outfit genius. I cried because I didn’t have a real bowler hat, but I won anyway!
“I still get the same feeling of excitement when I put on my stage costumes. I love the transformation, it’s really important to me.
“I almost over-egg it when it comes to how bad I look before going on stage so I feel a real lift and awareness of the change. It’s like going to work and becoming something else.
“I definitely feel that’s something that has become highlighted with motherhood. Now, I always seem to have bits of food or snot all over my clothes – they need their nose wiped so much in the end you stop bringing a tissue and just use your clothes.”
But would she swap this for anything else?
“No. I’m definitely happier than I’ve ever been in my life,” she said.
With the dark days of early motherhood behind her, her most recent album, The Architect, receiving rave reviews and a major 20-date summer tour on the cards, she has good reason to feel positive.
“I’m really looking forward to coming to Belladrum and the Highlands. We will probably take the baby with us as now it’s much easier for me as my partner looks after the baby and we get to all travel together,” she said.
“My mum tells me the Scottish countryside is incredible so I’ll looking forward to seeing it and will try to find time to get out and see this part of the world.
“During my stage shows I talk about trying to spread an epidemic of kindness and how we all have to take responsibility for making the world better, so I’ll be encouraging those who come to the festival to take their tents and rubbish home with them.
“As for the music, I really love playing new songs so we will play tracks from the album that’s just out.
“But there’s also a lot of the more popular songs from previous records as it’s nice to hear everyone singing together. Only Love Can Hurt Like This is the one I like hearing them sing best.”
Paloma Faith will top the bill at the Belladrum Tartan Heart Festival on Friday, August 3.
