I might give up television and just start watching a roundabout in Elgin.
I can’t face more adverts for life insurance or collectible gold coins and I’ve not heard a peep from the Diet Coke guy for years.
I remember when commercials were often better than the programmes.
A surfer caught a wave to words from Herman Melville’s Moby Dick for Guinness; Gregor Fisher combed his hair for Hamlet cigars; paint exploded from a Glasgow high-rise for the Sony Bravia.
An interesting proposal
Now the ads range from tedious to depressing and even the meerkats seem to be missing in action.
The Edgar Road and Linkwood Road roundabout in Elgin provided much more interesting viewing this week when a marriage proposal took an intriguing twist.
Bedsheets bearing spray-painted messages pop up regularly at the roundabout but on Wednesday two different signs created a cliff-hanger worthy of any TV soap.
The first said: “Will you marry me Rachel?” but soon after another appeared saying: “No! You slept with my brother.”
Suffice to say the sheets are the talk of the steamie with people pitching in with theories as to what has happened.
I don’t know if it’s for real or a prank but I feel sorry for the people who go to change the beds in their houses and wonder where on earth their good sheets have gone.
A relationship no-one wants
Meanwhile the bromance between Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un brought new meaning to the term toxic relationship.
Putin, leader of the Russian Federation, and Kim, leader of the world’s most stupid haircut, spent several days together, chatting, smiling, and visiting military facilities, as you do.
You’d think dictators would tire of ballistic missile chat, but the North Korean leader seems to have no other hobbies.
Could someone please just buy him a PlayStation for goodness sake? It would save everyone a lot of grief.
Kim’s daughter and possible heir, Ju Ae, thought to be around 12 years old, has accompanied her dad at recent missile launches but was not in Russia.
That’s why there weren’t any Instagram posts of her pouting and doing the peace sign with the Vostochny cosmodrome in the background.
I expect she’ll get a T-shirt that says: “My dad went to Russia and all I got was this lousy spy satellite.”
And the answer is…
Rocket science is not my strong point but it was for the brainbox contestants on new Channel 5 quiz show Puzzling.
Adam McLeod from Dingwall appeared on the grand final on Thursday and has already applied for other shows.
I love a quiz and tuned in only to find that Puzzling is so outrageously difficult it makes University Challenge look like Trivial Pursuits the Family Edition.
Adam did himself proud but I can’t think of anyone who’d be able to shout out the answers at the telly apart from Professor Brian Cox and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.
Meet Generation Aberdeen
At the Town House, marketing boffins took 15 minutes to explain a slogan after claims that “Generation Aberdeen” could become as world famous as I Heart New York.
On Monday the council approved the branding despite some members saying it reeked of “old people trying to be cool”.
To gauge its effectiveness I interviewed an 11-year-old with her finger on the pulse.
In her expert opinion it was “lame bruh” and instead suggested “Sustainability City” which would reflect the efforts to transition away from oil and gas.
It’s a nice idea but what does she know, she hasn’t even finished her maths homework.
“Generation Aberdeen” does go some way to reflect changing times for the region and there is reason for optimism this week.
The Scottish Parliament invited North Sea workers to have a say on their futures and there was a step forward for the Belmont Filmhouse.
Just the ticket for cinema
The recently-formed Belmont Community Cinema Ltd has been named as the preferred operator and a £2 million revival plan has been launched.
It comes almost a year since the Belmont’s closure, when film fans including myself and the aforementioned 11-year-old attended a meeting at Krakatoa bar to fight for its future.
It just goes to show the Guinness slogan had it right, good things come to those who wait.
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