I was a matter of seconds from not writing these words – from not writing or doing anything ever again.

All thanks to an old dear who shouldn’t be steering a shopping trolley let alone driving a car on the A90, or anywhere else.

Courtesy of her I enjoyed one of life’s near death experiences on the Muchalls bend.

You see, the last thing you expect a car turning right to do is simply pull out in front of you in the fast lane and drive at 20mph an hour.

Perhaps she wanted to see if my brakes were working.

Maybe she was interested in seeing how terrified and horrified one man can look as he thinks he’s about to become part of mangled road wreckage.

It’s even possible she wanted to give the emergency crews something to do. But more likely she just pulled an incredibly stupid and dangerous move that scared her as much as it scared me.

I know she was a she and I know she was elderly, because when I pulled alongside to give her a “what the …” look she just stared straight ahead.

All of which reinforces my view that some elderly people shouldn’t be driving for their own sake and everyone else’s.

There are, of course, safeguards. When you hit 70 you have to renew your licence every three years. But that’s just filling in a form.

Surely they should be sitting a test, just to make sure they are safe. This isn’t ageist or discriminatory. It’s common sense, especially when you see the appalling driving some pensioners pull off.

And let’s not forget another thread here – personal responsibility. Some elderly drivers know they are not up to the task, especially on motorways. Otherwise they wouldn’t be crawling dangerously along at 30mph in a 70mph zone.

Here’s a thought … instead of driving slowly, don’t drive at all.

Stay off the road. Do the right thing and keep us all safe.

Ingenious initiative to encourage sport

Well that’s wall-to-wall telly coverage of the Olympics done … but the best TV contribution from the Games is still to come.

That happens this Sunday morning when ITV will shut down all of its stations for an hour to encourage people to go out and try a sport.

It is an eye-catching idea of utter genius. It’s the sort of high-concept move which demands one response – everyone stop watching sport, get off their backside and join in. Who knows, you might even like it.