I started today with a clear plan to write on headline-grabbing politics and how it has an impact on people and their livelihoods.
I wrote it and then left it. I felt the piece was apathetic. I have given up hope that our current political system can rise above headline grabbing and one party taking a more extreme position just to win a vote.
So, back to something I do care about… The Dons.
I don’t think there are many Aberdeen FC fans just now who feel apathy. In fact, l would say loads of Dons fans are fired up.
There is a unique dynamic which creates this passion in football. If we don’t like a political party, we can easily change who we vote for. If we don’t like what our preferred shoe, car or restaurant brand does, we let our feet do the talking. Basically, in most other parts of life, we exercise choice.
The thing about a football club is that we are stuck. I just cannot move my support. It would be as momentous as cutting out my own father or children.
As a fan, we believe we are the club; we live the club – it is part of us and who we are. However, the fan has no real influence with an ownership model such as the one at Aberdeen FC, which is like most clubs these days.
To those who are not fans, the behaviour of football supporters and Dons followers is irrational. However, I would argue it is totally rational – it fits the medical symptoms of people who feel a loss of control.
A loss of control
One definition from a well-known search engine describes a loss of control as a “lack of the ability to provide conscious limitation of impulses and behaviour as a result of overwhelming emotion.
“States of agitation such as fighting, screaming, and uncontrollable weeping are most often thought of as behaviour illustrative of loss of control.”
Are you a football fan? A Dons fan? Does that feel like you?
As season ticket renewals are coming soon, I wonder whether there will be a duty-of-care provision within the paperwork. I am aware, for example, that the club has a well-being partner – perhaps their offer needs to include a free-of-charge loss-of-control health check.
The good news is that there are many coping strategies for this type of situation. As a result of some self-diagnosis, I have begun adopting the following methods. I have listed them here in order of success, from “not working” to “completely useless”.
Coping strategies
Talking – I have tried to talk to friends, family and other fans. Anyone who isn’t a fan mocks me, and anyone who is just layers another problem on my fix-it list for the Dons. Strategy doesn’t work.
Pick up a hobby – Went to the cinema this weekend. Film started at 4.50pm (93 minutes in), with the Dons winning 1-0. Left the cinema to a 1-2 score. Clearly the loss was caused by my new hobby. Strategy doesn’t work.
Be positive – Understand that it won’t always be this way… I’ll just leave this one there.
Take a break – I’ve meditated, been kind to myself, and even said I wouldn’t go to the St Johnstone game. Then, I did. Do I have a problem? Strategy left me questioning a few more sinister things.
Change perspective – It’s fine. The Dons are not big deal. I have a good job, lovely (mostly) kids and family. I’m just finding it hard to reconcile singing that we are BY FAR the greatest team the world has ever seen with the fact we are the 10th best team in the SPL. Strategy limiting without brain rebuild.
If anyone finds a good coping strategy please get in touch, I know there are thousands of you out there. I don’t want to cry or feel sad anymore. I was going to suggest an easy way for some people to meet and support each other, but the best idea I had was Killie at home next Saturday…
James Bream is CEO of Aberdeen-based Katoni Engineering and chair of DYW North East
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