OK, call me a prig – or a boring old fa…
But I was truly offended when, only seconds after Secretary of State for Education Gillian Keegan came off Sky, defending the Raac concrete, she launched into a hot-mic rant.
The woman with the vital job as heid honcho in charge of the schooling of millions of children declared she’d done a “f***ing good job” while others just “sat on their a****”.
Now we know, because she was recorded after the official tape, that this MP’s go-to emphatic speech in private is full of swear words. It might have been funny in an episode of The Thick of It. In real life, it’s appalling.
Education secretary Gillian Keegan is recorded on camera saying others ‘have been sat on their a***s’ on schools Raac crisis and shares frustration about not being thanked for doing ‘a f***ing good job’https://t.co/c02gI4dXiM pic.twitter.com/jWbYTVZl5D
— ITV News Politics (@ITVNewsPolitics) September 4, 2023
Since I can remember, I’ve loathed and abhorred swearing. Neither of my parents did it in front of me, nor my kids (thanks!). Sadly, I almost expect it from some men – my two ex-husbands were f***ing horrors who refused to adjust their language. But potty-moothed women give me the heebies.
All ages – you see them maybe glammed up on a night oot, clinking cocktails, yet as the evening goes on, the curses start exploding thick, fast and loud. How obnoxious. I’ve started dreading getting on a bus with school kids and hearing these bonnie, fresh-faced young quinies launch forth with volleys of verbal horrors. I so want to stand up and say something pithy. But I doot: “Language, Timothy!” is gaan tae cut it.
For me and my pals – all religiously oath-free – our go-to F-word is flip or flippin’. Don’t you dare laugh. I can make it ffflippppin’ ffflippin’ emphatic.
If only people realised how letting fly with even just one curse lets them down so badly. It used to be called the language o’ the fishwives, but I always reckoned that was a huge insult to the peer wifies under the arches. Ironically, a couple of days before the schools boss’s ugly rant, I came across a perfect example of how language can do for an image.
When it finally came free – a thunderous: ‘Oh, for f***’s sake!’ ricocheting roon the carriage
Boarded a train at Arbroath, which had started in London – opposite was this amazingly glam, middle-aged, blonde wifie, the dead spit of Rebecca from Ted Lasso. Instead of having travelled on this mouldy train most of the day, she looked like she’d just stepped oot o’ a hair and make-up session at Harvey Nix, cream trooser suit immaculate.
I smiled at her, as if to say: “Fit wye are ye nae in first class?” She flashed her glittering teeth at me, as if to say: “I should be!”
As Aberdeen hove near, she went to the luggage rack and made to hoik oot this huge pink case. However, it was stuck on something and she’d to give several heaves to get it clear, each time muttering: “F***, f***”. Then – when it finally came free – a thunderous: “Oh, for f***’s sake!” ricocheting roon the carriage.
How were the mighty fallen in my eyes. Just a potty-moothed wifie in funcy claes. Nae wonder she wisnae in first class.
Dark days for Aberdeen thanks to the council
I sincerely hope that when the libraries and swimming pool scandal is finally resolved, heads will roll at Aberdeen council. The sorry saga has been one of the most disgraceful episodes I’ve encountered in nearly half a century of following local government in the north-east.
It wasn’t just the decision to axe six libraries and a pool which was execrable at this time when community facilities are so hugely needed – it was the cold, hard, and now, it seems, possibly illegal way it was done.
No consultation with neighbourhood folk so desperate to explain how the loss would sorely affect their communities. Not even allowed to say a word at the D-Day council meeting after Lord Provost David Cameron, to his shame, froze them out.
So, did he know exactly what went on in all those community libraries and reckoned they were expendable? What an insult.
It’s a dark time for the SNP-Lib Dem administration. I’m shocked the Libs didn’t step in and make sense prevail, instead of blindly following the brief.
However, without even daring to be optimistic, maybe a huge wrong will be righted. In a bid to avoid court action, the council has agreed to a widespread, formal consultation on the closures, albeit five months after they happened, although it won’t be until December we get the result.
So, yes, as a gesture of goodwill, maybe they should reopen them all temporarily right now! As for those councillors who voted for closures without an iota of an idea how they would impact families, sit up and listen to the people who voted for you.
Moreen Simpson is a former assistant editor of the Evening Express and The Press and Journal, and started her journalism career in 1970
