This is my fourth and final “death” related column.
I did worry that people may find it all a tad depressing, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised by my huge postbag of emails. Great to hear all your views and take on death, what happens when we die, what happens after, whether there is a soul, heaven and hell and so on.
Also, some very passionate views on both sides of the debate on the “right to die” question. Wow, what a can of worms that subject is. Thank you for all your heartfelt views.
Do you think it’s possible to communicate with our loved ones after their death? I’m talking about mediums, of course.
Depending on your point of view, you may call those who use such powers as having a “gift”. Or you may well say something like – “these people are charlatans who prey on the vulnerable”.
Mediumship was often used for ‘entertainment purposes’
There seems to be many ways to describe mediumship, and personal views aside, it could be summed up as: someone who has the ability to communicate with spirits of the dead and between living human beings. They are the “go between” if you like, hence the name medium.
And it’s certainly not a modern thing. In fact, mediumship has roots going back centuries, as far as biblical times.
But it seems that it was during the 19th Century that mediumship became popular among the masses. It was often used for “entertainment purposes”.
I watched numerous documentaries on mediums. There are many believers out there, mediums themselves who claim to have the gift, or their clients who are totally convinced that there loved one “came through” and communicated with them.
And of course, there are many sceptics, who argue it’s at best just all too vague, or at worst – an outright con.
Are clairvoyants real or fake?
Before I continue, I want to make it clear that I am not labelling all mediums as scammers. Whether they can or cannot communicate with the dead, I do not know, but it would be wrong to label all as fake or of doing something illegal.
However, I do believe that there are scammers out there who do prey on the feelings and expectations that a grieving relative has.
For example, the medium may ask you a number of probing or leading questions, ie they may say they have someone “here” who has brown hair, or wears glasses, or I’m sensing a green jacket, or does holidays by the sea mean anything to you? And eventually you say yes, and bingo, it must be your grandfather!
Then, of course, there is that classic phrase often used by people who are convinced they have heard from their loved one. “She told me things she could not possibly have known.” For the record, I am not mocking such people.
The medium may have mentioned a holiday in France when you were a child, they may tell you that you have your mother with you right now, and mention that her favourite flowers were lilies.
Keep a clear head when visiting a medium
You are understandably blown away, and tears of joy flow at mum being there with you. I mean how could this medium, this stranger, possibly know that your mum’s favourite flowers were lilies? Or that she loved to, for example, wear bright colours?
Impressive. Yes. But… it has been suggested by sceptics that the medium may well have researched you in advance, online via your social media profile maybe.
Check your Facebook page. Maybe you posted a message there recently saying: “Happy Mother’s Day mum, miss you!” (with an added pic of a bunch of lilies). Or how about a recent death notice in the P&J where you asked everyone to wear bright colours to mum’s funeral to celebrate her love of such colours.
When we look at it all with a clear head, you can see why the sceptics are, well, sceptical.
Personally, I don’t do social media, but think about how much personal info I have given out in my columns. Dozens upon dozens of my past columns can be viewed on the P&J website. A whole plethora of info just sitting there waiting to be gleaned.
If I were to book an appointment with a medium, they may take my name, my email, etc, to confirm said booking. A week or so later, I visit with them.
Can we ever really know if the ‘gift’ is real?
Now, even those who are sceptics, as I probably am 50/50, wouldn’t we all secretly want to hear from our loved one? Therefore, we are going in with expectation and desire, and we are open to suggestion. We want to believe. Really want to believe. Do mediums hone in on this?
Imagine my reaction when the medium tells me that she has my dad “here”, and that dad really appreciated the joke about a free seat on Ryanair when I took his ashes to Spain.
Amazing! How on Earth could she possibly know that?
Think logically – I mentioned that in a recent column.
I have also mentioned in my columns over the years others who have departed – my grandad, grannie, John, and friends Tamara and Vladimir in Russia. So easy to glean personal info and make it sound convincing.
I accept the above is only a hypothetical example, but does it happen, for real? I don’t know. Am I being far too sceptical?
Do I believe that mediums can communicate with our deceased loved ones? I genuinely don’t know, because if we’re all being honest, those of us who don’t have the “gift” can’t ever really know.
Mediums can provide comfort to some
The very idea that my loved ones are out there somewhere, albeit not in body but in spirit or soul, and are ready to talk with us, really does interest me. I’ve been fascinated by this for many years, but have yet to form a concrete view.
I have never been to a medium. I have often contemplated it, but never done so. Maybe I should. I guess I will never really come to a conclusion one way or the other until I do.
Like I said, I genuinely don’t know if it’s all possible, but I’ll let you into a secret – I do so hope that it is.
Have you been to one? What was your experience? Good or bad? Or maybe you are someone who actually has the gift? If so, do get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.
If you are considering going to a medium, then please do your homework first. Check them out, speak to others, get a personal recommendation from someone you trust, and be careful with your cash.
Oh, and don’t tell them too much about yourself, let them fill in the blanks. After all, that’s what they’re meant to be able to do.
Maybe take a friend along with you. Don’t expect too much – and keep a clear head.
The bottom line for me is, if someone has lost a loved one, then gains peace and comfort by going to a medium, then I’m all for it.
What do you think about mediums communicating with our dearly departed?
All codswallop or…
Over to you.
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