Ron Cluny – Official Council Spokesman
As official spokesman of a local authority I take a close interest in the politics of America – the birthplace of the art of what we like to call “controlled communications” or, as some would have it, spin-doctoring.
In the past my interest has been on seeing how best it can be done. Throughout Donald Trump’s presidency, however, it has been out of the lurid fascination that comes from rubbernecking a catastrophe.
The achingly slow pace of the American voting system is causing the type of frustration levels usually only seen when a two-year-old insists on tying their own shoelaces before going to playgroup.
Here in Aberdeen we can install, bemoan and remove beachfront cycle lanes quicker than the electoral officials of Nevada can count a few hundred thousand votes. Though, in fairness, we are not constantly being distracted from our from our public duties by being in Las Vegas.
The delay in knowing a final result is frustrating for all of us and must be torture for the candidates, but nothing could excuse the extraordinary performance that we have seen from Trump over the last few days. No one escapes blame for the fact that he finds himself behind in the count – big media, big tech, big business, the political establishment. And in truth all have failed him in their core obligation to The Donald, which is to cosset him, agree with him, pander to him, and make him feel better, irrespective of the cost to the nation and the dangers that his demagoguery pose.
Two Scots phrases come to mind: “Abody’s oot o’ step but oor Donald” and “Dinna let the door dunt you on the erse on the wye oot”.
View from the Midden with MTV’s Jock Alexander
It’s been an incendiary wik in the village. Though we are in the enviable position of being in Covid Tier 2 (fitiver the hell that means) and are still feeling smug about nae living in the central belt, it hiz been a tricky few days.
Earlier, Skittery Wullie barricaded himself in his piggery efter he seen the alarming news that, as the result of a mutation tae the virus, Denmark wiz culling 17 million minks.
Weel, he never kent there wis an aminal of that name, so he thought he might be in a bittie het watter. (Fit wid be the first time for a filie, gaan by the smell.)
Of course, he wis awa wi’ the wrang end o’ the sharny stick, but he wis suddenly feart that his lassiez faire attitude tae personal hygiene wis pitting him at risk. Weel, he’s maybe nae wrang about ‘at; so we gied him some hand sanitiser, fit seems tae have calmed him richt doon. Aye, he’s drunk it, like.
On Thursday, Fireworks Nicht came aroon again. In keeping wi’ current restrictions we didnae hae a big public display.
Like awye else it wiz purely celebrated via underwhelming yet dangerously unregulated back-gairden events. I can still mind those o’ my youth, and the excitement and anticipation as I watched my faither fiddling aboot for twa oors shoving sticks intae the grun.
And then, o’ course, the huge sense o’ disappointment efter 20 seconds o’ coloured lights fizzed limply in the sky. There wis little tae enjoy, aside fae some brief hilarity fan the rocket fit wiz planted squint headed for Grunny and ab’dy dived oot the wye.
Of course, Feel Moira had her ain spectacular hame-made explosive display. She is usually stingy on the actual fireworks but goes big on the barrels of reed diesel.
We didnae see ony coloured lichts, but we did see Haldie Winton’s shed explode. We later found oot wiz baith a Guy Fawkes commemoration and a victory celebration for her re-election as leader o’ the local WI.
This is a bittie problematic as she hisnae actually won re-election. In fairness, she did lead in the early voting and appeared, at first, tae hiv the support o’ 100% of the electorate. But ‘at wis just because she wis the first een tae cast a ballot. Then she went tae the pub for a victory Port & Benylin files a’ the ither wifies voted her oot. Naeb’dy telt her, o’ course. Nae files she still hid a’ that drums o’ unexploded diesel. Weel, we’ve a’ got wir ain sheddies tae think o’!
Cheerio!
Watch the latest videos from The Flying Pigs production on YouTube.
