Cava Kenny Cordiner, the football pundit whose trousers are at half mast
As the great Roy Orbison once singed: “It’s over, it’s over, it’s over”.
After eight years ruling the rust in the Pittodrie hotpot, Derek McInnes has gotten his jotters, and truly it is the end of an area.
The week already got off to a bad start in sport when The Rangers lifted the title at the weekend. Their supporters was not very popular in the press because they was partying, drinking and peeing all over George Square. That isn’t unusual for George Square, but on a Sunday afternoon in the middle of a global pandrop, they should have knowed better.
Then, when Oprah Winfrey was making her “Whaaaat?” face on the telly, I was doing the same as the news came in that the boss was being sacked by mutual argument. To be honest, the fat lady had been singing the writing what was on the wall for a good long whilie. The Dons’ recent results was as shocking as the time I tried to fix our dishwasher, and the team’s performances had been mince. We was ropey at the back, short of ideas in midfield and toothpaste up front. Even me myself, a self-ointmented Degsy Disciple, knew it was time for a change.
Of course, the gaffer leaves behind some great memories: runners up in the league four times on the spin, three Cup finals at Hampden, European football every season and who could forget the League Cup final triumph against… well, to be honest Old Kenny got a bit carried away on the bus down to that one so I don’t really remember too much about it.
There’s a lot of big names in the magimix to step up into the gaffer’s shoes. Whoever takes over, I wish them luck and most of all, trophies!
Shelley Shingles, Showbiz Correspondent
OM actual G! This week has been quite the powder keg for the royal family, has it? It’s only been a few days since Meghan and Harry met Oprah, and the press have already shouted about it being the biggest crisis to hit the monarchy in 85 years. They’ve obviously never seen The Crown or they’d know that something like that happens practically every week!
They also seem to have forgotten the size of the storm created by the previous big royal interview. Which is good news for the person involved in that one. No doubt he’s mopping the sweat from his brow. Or not.
So anyway, the interview contained some unbelievable revelations, but chief among them was the news that the royal who asked about the colour of Archie’s skin wasn’t Prince Philip.
So whose side are you on? Research shows a generational divide with the under-30s backing Harry and Meghan. I’m very much in that camp, which is great news as it’s taken 10 years off me.
The interview has led to some searching questions being asked about the role of the monarchy and the behaviour of the press and highlighted some very important issues surrounding mental health. But most importantly it’s seen the back of Piers Morgan.
Loathe him or hate him, Piers gets the ratings, and never more so than this Tuesday when he flounced off the set of Good Morning Britain.
Piers always accuses his critics of being too “woke” but I don’t understand that. Surely they have to be, or they’d never see him frothing at the mouth at half six in the morning?
Kevin Cash, Money-saving expert and king of the grips
Fit wi the hale stooshy aboot Meghan and Harry, the royal family, Piers Morgan and aathin, it seems tae me that naeb’dy is focusing on the maist important bittie o’ the big interview – that the nae-royal-ony-mair couple quietly tied the knot three days afore the big wedding we seen on the telly.
That een hid George Clooney, a gospel choir and mair flooers than Angelina Jolie on Mother’s Day, but the first time it wiz just the pair o’ them in their backie wi’ the Archbishop o’ Canterbury.
I am somedee that hiz ayewiz shunned the institution of marriage, largely because I wid nivver spend 30 grand on a big tent and chicken supreme for a hunner folk I dinna like. So I heartily approve of daein it like at.
Nae, fuss, nae guests, and nae expense. Assuming, of course, His Grace wis daein it as a homer.