Milton Jones is explaining how he went from international spy to a new identity as a stand-up comedian… but his phone signal keeps breaking up and every second word he says is lost.
“That’s all part of the MI5 thing to break it into code,” he said.
It’s exactly the sort of thing you expect the Mock The Week star to say.
After all, he is known as much for his surreal and “daft nonsense” sense of humour as his deadpan – and deadly – one-liners.
Now he’s bringing that unique style – and collection of eccentric shirts – to the stage at the Music Hall on Tuesday with his Milton: Impossible tour.
The title is the jumping off point for Milton’s back story of having been a spy before his “somewhat disappointing” new identity which gives his show its loose narrative thread.
Nonsense to do with spying and escaping on cable cars
Phone signal now secured, Milton said: “This whole show is loosely based on nonsense to do with spying and whistleblowers and interrogating and escaping on cable cars.
“If you are looking to have your political opinions changed, don’t bother coming. It’s pure nonsense from beginning to end. If you like jokes, that’s probably the key to it.”
And there will be jokes aplenty, said Milton – somewhere between 200 and 250 one-liners, delivered in his trademark style which has won the comedian an army of fans, especially with Mock The Week appearances.
However, is there anything in Milton: Impossible that might come as surprise from people who only know him from the telly?
“I do a lot with flags in this show, which sounds odd,” said Milton.
“But I do the voices of different countries in the world and I’m not known for that on telly, that’s for sure. So there’s a slight impersonation thing going on there.
“And I do a big interrogation scene on a swivel chair, where the back of my head is the interrogator then I turn round and it’s just me… that’s one of the problems,” he added, laughing.
The art of one-liners according to Milton Jones
But Milton: Impossible will also feature “plenty of jokes like you would see on the telly”.
There is, according to Milton, an art to creating non-stop, rapid-fire one-liners which are his stock in trade.
“You think of a cartoon in your head that has a surprise ending, and it might be based on a word or an idea or whatever, then you try to get it down to the least number of words… and with a joke at the end,” he said.
“Sounds easy, said like that, but actually it takes ages. But there’s nothing like people buying tickets for a show I haven’t written that gives me the adrenaline to somehow get going.”
When it comes to favourite one-liners, Milton said they tend to be his recent ones – “I know Boris Johnson a little bit, yeah, from the hairdressers’.”
“Different jokes mean different things to me at different times, so I don’t have one favourite particularly. I like saying a new joke for the first time and it gets a laugh. That suddenly becomes your new favourite until the next one.”
Milton tries to get a word in on Mock The Week
Milton, who started out as an actor before turning to comedy, says he finds the stage his more natural home than TV.
“That’s where I started and there are far less things that can go wrong. It’s all down to me,” he said.
“When you’re on TV, you’re always at the mercy of the edit and the other people. On something like Mock The Week, most of the time I just spend trying to get a word in. At least when I’m on stage, I should be the only one talking.”
The other advantage to the stage is playing to people who like you to begin with, added the comedian.
“Whereas, if you’re on TV you annoy as many people as you please, it seems from social media anyway.”
Milton is, of course, looking forward to pleasing his fans at the Music Hall on Tuesday.
“I always enjoy coming up to Aberdeen. Nice audiences, civilised but vociferous nonetheless,” said Milton, who will be returning to the Granite City in October as one of the headline acts of the Aberdeen International Comedy Festival.
And he has a message for those coming along to see Milton: Impossible.
“If you like jokes, this is the show for you,” he said. “If you’re hoping to stroke your chin and hear an interesting political take on modern living, then stay at home.”
For more information and tickets for Milton: Impossible at the Music Hall visit aberdeenperformingarts.com
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