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Aberdeen dating coach on lessons in love

Cameron Hay has launched his own business as a dating coach, in a bid to teach men how to really talk to women.
Cameron Hay has launched his own business as a dating coach, in a bid to teach men how to really talk to women.

There’s no denying that the pandemic has changed everything, from how we work to who we spend time with.

When faced with the enormity that is Covid-19, many people have taken stock of their life and made some major changes.

your life has already chronicled how lockdown changed our perception of love, with people taking the plunge and tying the knot after years of indecision.

But how do you meet the love of your life when lockdown saw us ordered to stay at home in order to save lives?

Step forward Cameron Hay, who may just have the answer for not only securing, but maintaining romance.

The 25-year-old, who lives in Dyce just outside Aberdeen, believes he can help people with their dating dilemmas, after training to become a dating and attraction coach.

His new career is all the more curious, after Cameron decided to step away from his job as a police constable in a bid to follow his dream.

Cameron swapped being a police officer for a dating coach.

What could the law and love possibly have in common?

Well, as it turns out, rather a lot.

The majority of Cameron’s clients are male, and may have already experienced the many pitfalls of online dating.

“I have experienced all the highs and lows of dating,” said Cameron.

“I have come to learn that dating is 90% preparation and 10% application.

“I help nice guys become confident daters who can communicate better.

“It’s about finding out who you are as as a person. You need to build on yourself as an individual in order to date effectively.

“I feel we live in an age where social media platforms such as Instagram can enable us to have a fake level of confidence.

Not being able to practise dating has really hampered some people

Cameron Hay

“I want to help educate men into seeing these images as coming from completely normal people.”

Cameron is also hoping to tackle the gender divide, which he believes sees women rule the roost in the dating world.

“Women have the upper hand, because men tend to put women on a pedestal,” he said.

“I think my age is the minimum, as when you’re in your late teens you tend to wing it.

“My oldest client is 48.

“Covid has been a great time of self-reflection. People have had a lot more time to figure out what they want, but there is still a lot of things to overcome.

“Not being able to practise dating has really hampered some people.

Dating has proved difficult during Covid.

“Once you get a clear idea of what you are aiming for, it enables me to act a bit like a personal trainer.

“The final goal is a girlfriend.”

It’s not so much about the language of love, as how to communicate in the first place.

Long gone are the days where you would only talk on the actual date, before communicating via letter or a phone call made from a telephone box.

Technology means we are forever available, which may be part of the problem.

“I educate guys on how a text message can be perceived for example, it all stems down to communication,” said Cameron.

“The dating process should not only become efficient, it should be fun as well.

“I think I dated for around a year to really fine tune what I wanted; it’s all about the mindset.

“Tinder, for example, is very visual. But it actually comes down to mental resilience.

Online dating can be a minefield.

“I find my job so rewarding, because I teach guys how to take the conversation to the next level.

“From deciphering what a message really means, to seeing them smile. It’s a very subtle change.”

Cameron takes on a maximum of five clients, so he can spend time helping people get to the root of the issue.

“Even the most bravado of guys can be nervous underneath, but we’ve been conditioned to think that men don’t get nerves,” said Cameron.

“If you are happy when you’re dating, you act differently.”

Cameron’s former police career means he can also identify red flags, and prevent problems from escalating.

The dating process should not only become efficient, it should be fun as well

“I was a police constable based in Aberdeen, and I was quite often called out to cases of domestic abuse,” he said.

“The behaviour descended into physical violence, and I could see straight off that the two people were not compatible.

“It always got me thinking, how did they meet and what kind of values had they been looking for?

“If you know how to look for red flags in the beginning, I think you can stop incidents like that happening in the first place.

“I realised that the police force wasn’t for me; around 80% of what I was doing was paperwork.

“I wanted to go out and physically make a difference.

“Now I feel like I can do that as a dating and attraction coach; I love knowing that I’ve had an impact on someone’s life.”

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