Today’s words are being written from a hospital bed but that sounds a lot more dramatic than it is.
For a few years now I’ve had an unsightly cyst on my left eyelid and a smaller one on my right.
I decided to have it removed as I was fed up looking at it, so hence this little admission to a day ward at Moorfield’s eye hospital in London.
Not being a huge hospital fan, I don’t think anybody of us are really, there was a wee bit of trepidation even for what is a very minor procedure.
Why do hospitals make us feel like that? Yes we are afraid of pain and feeling unwell but I think it’s more than that.
I’m always so thankful for the hospital staff who know how to put us at our ease if we are in having any kind of procedure.
No matter how nervous I get if I’m in hospital for tests or anything, I wouldn’t show it because I would feel like such a fraud compared to what people who are really ill are going through.
To be fair, it’s when my loved ones are in hospital that I get most scared though.
I can’t just deal with what’s in front of me, I have to always think of the worst-case scenario which really isn’t helpful.
Anxiety is a clever thing. It gets hold of you and just won’t let go until it’s ready.
Anyway today waiting to go in for this minor operation I’m trying to use it as a little test of just how easy it all is.
I’m trying to use all the techniques I’ve been taught to stay calm. I’m using the breathing techniques I teach singers when they are nervous before a gig.
I’m trying to be “in the moment”, instead of thinking how will I be afterwards, will it be painful etc.
Meditation is something that Gordon does a lot of and swears by but I’m not very good at calming down those thoughts in my head and sticking with it. I probably just need to persevere.
So that was all yesterday. I had to pause my typing after that because I had two eye patches on for the rest of the day.
Of course I was asleep for the procedure so have no recollection of it and have had no pain at all.
Now I’m at home a day later thinking, what on earth was I nervous about?
I think it was because although the doctor did want to remove them to check that there is nothing sinister, this is the first time I’ve ever done anything vaguely cosmetic and I won’t be rushing to do anything else.
I was sitting in that hospital thinking how on earth do people have the courage to have face lifts and the like?
And there are some people who seem to get a bit addicted to having procedures.
Why would you volunteer to go into hospital for a big operation if you don’t have to?
Good luck to people who are brave enough to do it but you won’t see me rushing to have any cosmetic surgery anytime soon.
And to everyone who has had to have ‘real’ surgery this week, I’m sending you lots of love.
So as you can see, I’m using my two weeks at home to fit in everything that needs doing and catch up with my loved ones.
I spent a day in Liverpool with Emily, I popped up to Turriff and Banff for a day and Gordon and I drove to Brighton to my absolute favourite second-hand shop to drop off a car full of clothes.
Preloved of Brighton is a great concept for a store and I’m sure there are lots of others dotted around the UK.
Vanessa the owner picks and chooses what she accepts to sell.
Shopping trends
We all have those special outfits which we have hardly worn or we spent a bit on and we don’t want to give them away to the local charity shop just yet.
Vanessa sells them and splits the money with you. Then after a few more wears they probably end up in the charity shop anyway or the ones which don’t sell will be donated.
I was always brought up to buy good quality clothes and have less of them. Unlike Emily’s generation where she bought a new outfit every time she went out.
Shops like Preloved really help with sustainability.
Only problem is that when I go there to drop off clothes I end up buying a few as well.
Well it would be rude not to!
Have a good week,
Yvie x
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