Losing retired army major Kim Ponting to brain cancer is one of the hardest things his family has gone through.
Now they’ve vowed to start a foundation in his name to help others navigating the same journey.
“Especially those in remote or Highland locations like we were, hundreds of miles from specialists,” said Samantha Fox, Kim’s daughter, who lives in Nairn.
“My dad was an amazing man. Strong, resilient and positive. This came out of nowhere for us but not one minute of it was easy. If dad’s journey can help others that would be a fitting legacy for someone who spent his life in the service of others.”
A military life
Kim Terry Ponting was born on July 29 1957 in Oxford. Son of Queen’s Own Highlander Colin Redvers Ponting and his wife, Anne Lindsay, his childhood involved multiple moves with his army father.
On completion of secondary school, in 1973, Kim followed the family tradition to join the army, becoming a Royal Electrical Mechanical Engineer.
After training in Reading and rising through the ranks, he was commissioned as an officer. By this point Kim’s father had a house in Nairn – a favourite place to visit for the family.
Falling in love
In 1977 Kim met fellow soldier Judy Arbon in Beaconsfield and started courting in February that year. By June they were engaged and the following April they married in Oxford.
After their nuptials Judy was able to leave the military, accompanying her new husband to his various postings. They remained in love for more than 40 years.
The couple lived for two years in Fallingbostel, Germany, where Kim became a second lieutenant, then back to Marchwood near Southampton.
In the early 1980s Kim also changed regiment, moving on to the Royal Logistic corps. There he served in Farnborough, Hampshire, the Falklands – just after the war – and Hannover between 1983 and 1986.
In 1984 – the same year he became a captain – daughter Samantha Jayne was born. The family relocated to Church Crookham, then Winchester before finally reaching Nairn in 1988.
At home in Nairn
Though Kim would serve further afield in Andover and Dorset, Nairn became home. In the house once owned by Kim’s father the family-of-three settled in Scotland.
In the early 1990s Kim was promoted to major and by the middle of that decade he had retired. Not an end to hard work, however, he was kept busy between renovating the cottage in Nairn and working for the army and NHS as an IT consultant.
In his spare time he enjoyed Nairn Sailing Club and time on the water would go on to be a feature of Kim’s later life. After another move, this time to Strathpeffer, they returned to Galcantray, by Cawdor, where Kim took on work with Scottish canals. Bridgework and operating the locks ensued and they even lived on a barge for five years.
In early 2023 Judy and Kim returned to Nairn.
“We had a wonderful life together,” said Judy. “I’m struggling to come to terms with him not being here. It all feels so quick.”
Unexpected diagnosis
Settling back into the place they felt most at home, in March 2022 Kim started to experience seizures.
After an MRI scan and watchful waiting it took until July to be formally diagnosed with a brain cancer called Glioblastoma. An aggressive brain tumour, he was only given nine to 12 months to live.
“You kind of know there’s a cancer for everything,” said Sam, ” but we hadn’t realised just how under funded brain cancer is specifically.
“Add in being miles and miles from the nearest hospital with an expert, so appointments are all via Skype, and you’re faced with a confusing and difficult journey from the offset.”
‘Nobody knew about it’
At the same time Kim and his family felt like they “had been handed a death sentence” they found themselves constantly explaining what he was facing.
“We couldn’t believe how few people knew anything about this type of cancer. I think most people know about breast cancer but if Tom from The Wanted hadn’t shared this story I’m not sure anyone would know anything,” said Samantha.
Around 12,000 people every years will be diagnosed with a brain tumour in the UK, according to Cancer Research, but over half will be benign.
Of the remaining malignant types, glioblastoma – the kind of brain tumour Kim had – is a fast-growing and aggressive tumour.
*image of symptoms to look out for*
“My dad accepted his diagnosis. He didn’t have any illusions but just really wanted to live as pain free as possible. We often felt quite alone though. Aberdeen was our nearest hospital with a specialist so I presume every family going through this in the far north of Scotland will have had a similar experience.”
Surrounded by family
Kim’s last months were spent with Judy, and Samantha and her family, in an adjoining house.
“He didn’t want to leave us,” said Judy. “But he did want to live the last few months as pain free as possible, with us and his five grandchildren close by. He loved being their pappy.”
Kim passed away on May 27. His funeral took place at Fort George on June 7.
“There was such a beautiful moment where all the soldiers who attended saluted him. I think I forget he was actually a soldier because to me he was just my amazing dad; my best friend,” added Samantha. “We’re determined now to throw everything at honouring his legacy through the Kim Ponting Foundation.”
Plans in place
Judy and Samantha have already appointed trustees and their aim is to raise funds to provide education and research about brain cancers, as well as to offer support to families going through it.
“I see it a bit like coaching a pregnant friend when you’ve already had kids,” Samantha added. “At the same time much more funding is needed so it can be identified early and treated. Of all the millions raised each year for cancer research only three per cent goes to brain tumours and cancers.”
Following Kim’s death a Just Giving page raised more than £500 for Maggie’s Centres which the family found to be a great source of support. A further £122 was raised via donations at his funeral.
To find out more about the Kim Ponting Foundation email samantha.ponting@hotmail.com.
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