Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

Moreen Simpson: I’ve finally bought the posh sofa of my dreams

Any good sofa needs to withstand plenty of fort building (Photo: Image Source Trading Ltd/Shutterstock)
Any good sofa needs to withstand plenty of fort building (Photo: Image Source Trading Ltd/Shutterstock)

I suspect my dear mum was ringleader of the hot goss in Heaven on Saturday.

During afternoon tea and paradise slices, she’d have been telling her pals: “Moreen’s aye been sic a spendthrift. Look what she’s gone and bought now.” I can see them a’ keekin’ doon at me and tut-tuttin’ like trains.

Well, I reckon I deserve to have lashed out a fortune on a new suite. After all, it’s nigh on three decades since I bought the last one. And it’s still pretty presentable. More importantly, it remains as blissfully comfy as the day I fell under its spell and spent what I couldn’t even nearly afford. Fit a feel.

Because the house I moved into in 1994 had a huge living room, I needed two two-seater sofas and two armchairs. Instead of heading to one of the new, cheapo furniture stores, did I nae walz into swunkie Archibalds, where mum had once been an upholstery sewer and it was still a long-established family business?

Boom, boom, saw this luxurious, dark green velour effort, £3,000 plus. Jings, crivvens, fit a price. Tempted. Took it. Lost sleep over it. Paid up years for it. Yet it’s been a great buy. Comes up like new with just the dicht of a soapy cloth in spite of years of babies’ milky spewins and their later colourful designs courtesy of spag bol, chips, chocolate, custard-clarted fingers.

Even today, the toots’ favourite game involves dismantling the lot to build a castle, the flattened cushions aye plumpin’ right back up again.

I fell in love all over again – with a Parker Knoll

I tried Sainsbury’s first, because its one of the city’s few remaining family firms, discovering that choosing a suite nowadays is a very different affair. It’s more like buying a car, thanks to the various mechanicals that come attached.

To begin with, I wanted nothing of the infernal zappers, but I was persuaded to try a sofa that glides from sit-up to lie-doon at the touch of a button and the seductive purr of hidden power. Fit an excitement. I can just imagine the grandchildren zooming up and doon on that. Fa’ needs a boring old cushion-castle? There’s even sockets for recharging my phone. Would-ye-creditit?

“As the sales mannie did the calculation, my leggies began to shoogle

So, like that day back in 1994, I fell in love all over again, this time with a Parker Knoll design – that’s why mum would have had a hairy canary. In her day, the hallowed name was always whispered and only afforded by the poshos from Rubislaw Den – the Archie regulars. But I had to have it.

As the sales mannie did the calculation, my leggies began to shoogle. Mummy, mummy you were right. F-f-f-five thousand-plus. Still, that was was probably cheaper than the fortune I’d paid 30 years ago.

Nope. Google did the maths. The equivalent of the same £3,000 plus then. Felt a bitty faint. Maybe needed another mechanical lie-doon. At least it’ll probably last me another three decades – until I’m 103. Now there’s a bargain. No wonder the mannie looked shocked when I asked if I could pay it up!


Read more by Moreen Simpson: