Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

Your Money: When do you stop financially supporting your grown-up children?

Advice from a financial planner and parent on how to navigate the thorny issue of money and adult children.

Alana Davidson, chartered financial planner at north-east firm Acumen Financial Planning
"Many adult children will have relied on their parents financially throughout their life, creating a knock-on effect for the future" - Alana Davidson. Image: Muckle Media

One in 10 parents have taken on a second job in order to earn enough money to financially support their children.

The same study shows 75% continue to financially support their children after leaving home. A lot of these parents will now be worried about their own financial futures.

With the cost-of-living crisis and Covid-19 thrown into the mix, many grown-up- children have had to rely on their parents more than usual.

Cost-of-living impact bigger than Covid

According to Saga Analysis, 64% of parents expect the current cost-of-living crisis to have a greater impact on their adult children’s finances than Covid-19 due to rising bills, a lack of savings and increased rent and mortgage rates.

Some adult children have relied on their parents financially throughout their lives, creating a knock-on effect for the future. When children haven’t been expected to save money, build credit or in some cases be financially independent, it can come as a shock and many won’t have savings to support them in the future.

Sad and stressed elderly father and his adult son counting money
The “Bank of Mum and Dad” is always open. Image: Shutterstock

Of course, we want to support our children whenever we can – such as helping them at university. But there also comes a time when we must decide if this is the best thing not just for them, but for our own financial situation.

For many parents, it may seem like a good solution to take on second jobs, go back to work, dip into pension pots or delay retirement. It’s important to decide how best to support your children – and yourself. This may mean reducing or even stopping your financial support.

Withdrawing such help can be stressful and put a strain on relationships.

Happy mature mother using credit card and laptop with her daughter .
This mum may be helping her daughter’s finances but is she looking after her own? Image: Shutterstock

Many grown-up children will genuinely need that financial support, so it is important for parents to set boundaries, where possible, particularly with children who have never been financially independent and may be resistant to the idea.

Here are my top tips if you’re unsure when to stop providing for your children financially:

  • Have an open and honest conversation to understand their circumstances and if they still require support
  • Explain your own financial situation and that this is something that you may not be able to continue
  • If applicable, explain to them that you can no longer return to work or take a second job to fund their lifestyle

Offer support in other ways

  • If your child has just finished university, college or school and is unemployed, offer support to help them find work if they are struggling with what to do. This is a good way to introduce financial support and responsibility to them if needed
  • If they lack understanding with budgeting and are struggling with their own household bills, offer to guide them. This can make a significant difference if they are unsure of best solutions – such as how to budget, save and set up direct debits for bills
  • For children studying away from home and needing financial support for accommodation, make use of available grants, if possible. This may help ease the financial pressure

Consult a financial planner

  • If you are worried about the effect supporting your children financially may have on your own finances long term, speaking to a financial planner may give you peace of mind and help you to decide if it will have a detrimental impact on your current and future standard of living
 A young man and his dad look over some money matters.
A young man and his dad look over some money matters. Image: Shutterstock

It can be tricky having these conversations and deciding to no longer support your children financially. But in certain situations, if it carries on too long, it may impact not only them for the future but also you.

Alana Davidson is a chartered financial planner at north-east firm Acumen Financial Planning.