Amidst all the speculation around the disappearance of Nicola Bulley which I wrote about last week and of course the dreadful sadness that her body has now been found, there is a very disturbing subtext.
I have seen various comments on social media which have also been published in newspapers by two different well-regarded female journalists criticising the appearance of Superintendent Rebecca Smith who is leading the Nicola Bulley investigation.
Demure work dress
DS Smith as a Superintendent does not have to wear police uniform and was extremely smartly dressed in what I would describe as a demure work dress. It didn’t have a low-cut neckline and came to well below her knees.
But she was criticised for the fact that the dress showed off her ‘toned figure’ and even her effort to have her hair neatly straightened was deemed “disrespectful” while searching for a missing mother.
I have rarely heard such sexist rubbish. Especially since these comments came from women.
In fact, DS Smith was likened to someone auditioning for Love Island. One of the journalists questioned who would wear a sleeveless dress in February.
I would answer that by saying… many women going through menopause who have to attend an important meeting and don’t want to come out in a sweat.
Surely one of the sad things about this case is that it has been stated that Nicola Bulley’s menopausal symptoms might well have contributed to her poor mental health before she disappeared.
Would they criticise a man?
So why criticise a senior detective just doing her job who may well have had similar symptoms?
Imagine a man being criticised for wearing a suit which showed off his physique?
Look at Rishi Sunak for example. He is slim and we can see that from his suits. He doesn’t wear baggy trousers or loose shirts in case we see if he is muscular.
And I’m sure I’ve seen him taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves when feeling the heat at an important meeting.
So would these journalists prefer DS Smith to look like DCI Vera Stanhope, so wonderfully portrayed by Brenda Blethyn?
Indeed, if DS Smith had walked into that press conference with an old raincoat and uncombed hair, she would have been criticised for not making enough of an effort for her important job.
As a woman who has often had to speak in public or on live television I find that making an effort with my appearance helps me with my self-confidence and therefore with the way I do my job.
I’ve been criticised by people who don’t like it but I work in entertainment and also a handful of people saying my skirt is too short or my heels are too high, isn’t important.
Immense pressure
But this case is a huge media story. DC Smith has been thrown into the public eye and is under immense pressure.
No one should be undermining DC Smith by criticising her appearance even if it was inappropriate which in my opinion it most certainly wasn’t.
Surely, we must learn not to criticise people in such a public way. The mental health of DS Smith is important too.
I’m not naming those journalists by the way for exactly the reason stated above.
Maybe they stand by what they said but maybe they realise they were wrong and have regrets following the outpouring of public objections to their words.
I’m hoping that is the case and I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt.
On tour
So in my crazy world of touring, I’m writing this in Frankfurt today. We arrived from Hamburg in the early hours of the morning.
Amidst the glamour of seeing all these European cities we did all have to do our washing when we got to Hamburg.
We found a laundrette with a bar so the boys had a beer while waiting for the washing to finish. What a great business idea!
After his surprise Valentine’s appearance in Vienna last week, I had another visit from Gordon today when he flew into Frankfurt while I was staying there.
We are really enjoying our European meet-ups.
I had some funny messages from some of you whose partners agree with Gordon about avoiding the Valentine’s Day mark-ups. In fact, I realise that most of us feel the same.
My favourite email though this week was from Jan Smith whose late husband David used to buy her roses on the 15th of February when they were half price.
And one year he was very proud to get a 60% reduction.
David was a big fan of this column and used to call Saturday Yvie’s day.
I was really touched by that and glad to hear that David was a canny man after my own heart Jan.
Flowers are lovely whatever day we get them.
Have a good week everyone,
Yvie x
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