For years and years, I’ve had so much wonderful feedback from YL readers no matter what topic we are discussing.
I clearly remember the first time I talked about my husband Gordon’s cancer diagnosis, being quite overwhelmed by your support and stories of many of you going through similar things.
I realised then that over the years this page has become an incredibly honest sharing of our life, whether that be me travelling all over the world, hanging out with glamorous people, moaning about the washing machine breaking down or talking about my anxiety.
It’s real life isn’t it? We all live in bit of a soap opera with ups and downs and it’s been quite cathartic for me to share it with you.
In my first column here I discussed how I didn’t eat any refined sugar and felt wonderful.
I remember feeling amazing and I stuck to that for two whole years, losing two stones in the process.
I think I wanted to share that with you because when you feel so great living as certain way, you get a kick about people saying you inspired them to do the same.
Anyway, that was then, and this is now.
I’ve always had a sweet tooth – we have discussed this many times. I do think us Scots have a bit of a tendency towards this. We do love a fly cup with something fine.
Somehow the combination of going through an incredibly anxious few years worrying about Gordon and comfort eating, being on world tours where it’s difficult to have a routine and going through the menopause, here I am, three stones heavier and as lot less healthy.
As you know my good friend Carol Vorderman looks and feels incredible for over 60 and she nagged me into doing a full set of private blood tests as there were so many little niggling issues and I don’t know how the GP service is with you but here it has been so hard to see anyone.
Anyway, long story short, the blood tests flagged up so many questions, so armed with that knowledge, the doctor saw me immediately.
We are still testing and retesting some of them but the first significant result is that I’m pre-diabetic.
Is it normal to be embarrassed about this?
I’m annoyed with myself. I know how to be healthy, how to exercise regularly but yet I let my health slip.
I can blame stress, menopause, my job, whatever, but it was me who ate the bread and the cakes! I’m the one to blame.
I had so many symptoms of this but put them down to something else.
I’d love to hear from any of you out there who have developed pre-diabetes or indeed diabetes and whether you too feel guilt.
Now of course Type 1 diabetes is not caused by lifestyle. You unfortunately can just be unlucky enough to have this but Type 2 diabetes is the one that we can try to avoid.
Somehow though, the guilt I feel has been the kick up the bum I needed.
It’s been a week now since I had this diagnosis and no naughty stuff has passed my lips. I’ve also exercised every day.
Even though this week is scan week for Gordon so my anxiety is of course through the roof waiting for his results, I’m determined not to turn to the biscuits to try to change the way I feel.
The NHS is celebrating its 75th year and so many of us have stories about how a doctor or nurse showed us kindness and went out of their way to help us at time when we were particularly afraid or vulnerable.
I fell apart a bit the other day when Gordon’s oncologist said he felt he needed to scan Gordon “just to be sure”.
For any of you who have loved ones living with cancer. I’m sure that you will agree that you have to put it out of your mind and just live your life or you would go mad but then as soon as you go for an appointment or have a scan, all of the worry just comes flooding back.
Our wonderful cancer nurse, put her arm around me.
She understood that these feelings overwhelm us now and then and she is there for the loved ones as well as the patient.
Thank you to all the nurses and doctors out there who regularly go beyond the call of duty.
We appreciate you very much.
Have a good week,
Yvie x
