In a spot overlooking Nairn harbour a rugged oak memorial bench carries the inscription “18 forever, my boy” in memory of teenager Reece Spark.
Today, on the third anniversary of his death, as part of our Place to Remember series, Reece’s mum Doreen and family friend Leanne O’Kane tell the story behind his bench and reflect on the realities of life after losing a loved one to suicide.
A complete shock
August 9 2020 will forever be the “perfectly normal” day that ended as “every parent’s worst nightmare” for Doreen Spark.
Months into lockdown Doreen had been texting her son, who lived with his dad, with no hint that his mental health was worsening.
“It really was a shock, he never once mentioned that anything was wrong. Reece had lost several friends to suicide though, and I think now that had a bigger impact on him than we realised. These things seem to have a domino affect.
“Never, ever, did I think I would be one of the people get the news that their son was gone.”
‘Celtic and Oasis daft’
Doreen recalls police coming into the bar where she worked following the death of another Nairn youngster.
“They were handing out leaflets – encouraging people to get help if they needed it – and I just thought ‘oh my God, I’m a mum of two teenagers, I can’t even imagine…’
“And then I was in the same position.”
Reece, who had attended Millbank Primary and then Nairn Academy, had been reported missing before his body was found in nearby woods.
It was later discovered that the ‘Celtic daft’ employee of North of Scotland Marquees left a note on his phone.
“His dad has read it and I started to but when I realised what it was I stopped. I choose to remember Reece as the life and soul of the party. The beautiful wee blond boy. The teenager with the big smile singing Oasis songs.
“Wonderwall is written on the back of his bench because he got so much joy from his music. That’s how I like to remember him.”
Memorial bench
Reece’s memorial bench is located in front of the Sun Dancer restaurant overlooking the harbour.
Auxiliary nurse Leanne O’Kane planned and organised the installation of the special seat.
“Reece was one of my son’s best friends. As a mum you can’t not be affected by such a tragedy.
“One day I just thought I’m going to fundraise to get a bench for Reece. How it all came about was as special as Reece was.”
Special place
Following Reece’s death Leanne, an open-water swimmer, swam in the sea every day for 365 days. As well as helping her own mental health she took the opportunity to raise awareness of local mental health organisations and to encourage suicide prevention.
“If I was doing it every day I thought, I may as well raise money in the process,” said Leanne.
“I spoke to Doreen about the idea for a bench and she loved it. It went from there.
“I found the furniture maker – Mike Wills – because I blew a puncture outside his house. When I told him the story he offered his services. He then told Reece’s story to a wood supplier and they donated the most beautiful oak. Even the slabs underneath were donated.
“But it was Doreen who picked the spot.”
Heartbreaking
As well as the word Wonderwall carved on the back, his mum’s handprint is etched on the front.
A lover of the beach and the outdoors, the bench offers a place of peace and comfort to all who knew Reece.
“I sometimes swim up towards the bench, take a glance over and say hello,” said Leanne.
“Doreen once sent me a picture of a rainbow over the bench. It’s a special place.”
Doreen said: “It’s beautiful there. It’s nice to know there’s somewhere peaceful that we can go to; it’s the perfect place.
“When I go to the cemetery it just breaks my heart. Reece’s headstone is back to back with that of another 18-year-old who died the same way. And the graveyard seems to always be full of teenagers visiting their friends. It’s heartbreaking.”
Plea for help
To mark the anniversary of Reece’s death Doreen, who is also mum to Abigail, is going out for lunch with both sets of Reece’s grandparents and his aunty.
She is also now fundraising for Highland suicide prevention charity Mikeysline.
“I think there’s always a need to speak, but it’s not as easy as what people think. There are lots of charities out there, but it’s getting people to use them.
“I wish Reece had been able to ask for help. The hope in sharing his story is always that someone reads it and sees that there is another way… you can get help…
“Suicide is devastating, for everyone.”
- For a non-judgemental, confidential conversation, call the Samaritans free on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
- The Samaritans also have an app which you can download to your phone, providing self-help tips. Find out more on the Samaritans website.
- You can also text 07786 20 77 55 for support from Mikeysline.
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