As a Steve McQueen fan I was excited to hear about the return of The Blob, so imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be a reference to the civil service and not the 1958 B-movie.
I should have known because Aberdeen’s arthouse cinema The Belmont is still out of action but I remain ever supportive and positive about its revival.
No, the mysterious mass in question is the one mentioned by former Conservative Party chairman Jake Berry who claimed on Twitter that “the blob” had caused the downfall of Boris Johnson.
He tweeted: “You voted for Brexit – the establishment blocked it. You voted for Boris Johnson – the establishment has forced him out. Who is in charge here? The voters or the blob?”
Well, if we had a general election we’d be able to answer that one Jake.
Nadine Dorries blamed another amorphous heap for things not going her way, namely the “posh boys” and “sinister forces” behind the decision not to include her on Johnson’s controversial resignation honours list.
Nadine is heartbroken, yes heartbroken, that she didn’t get a peerage. That was her choice of adjective while the spectre of covid and the personal price we all paid for it swirls overhead.
It’s like when a child has a full day of fun at Codona’s and then sulks at the injustice of not being able to stay up late to watch the telly.
The sharp end of hardship
Nadine would be annoyed at this comparison to a spoilt child, because her identity as “a girl born into poverty in Liverpool” is her badge of honour.
Sadly that doesn’t make her all that exceptional.
A study published this year by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation found that 13.4 million people were in living poverty during 2020/21, including 3.9 million children.
It pointed out that in 2023 they are now experiencing the sharp end of the hardship caused by the cost-of-living crisis.
Death of a star
In the same week that the Privileges Committee report found Boris Johnson misled Parliament over Partygate and Donald Trump appeared in court in Miami, the actress Glenda Jackson died aged 87.
At the age of 56 she announced she was giving up acting to pursue a political career and then at 79 she left politics behind and returned to the theatre.
This may have baffled Johnson and Trump because unlike her, they have never made the distinction.
I say theatre but with those two it’s really pantomime, although there is quite a lot of acting involved.
Boris Johnson is now so notorious a fibber that I’m starting to question absolutely everything he has ever said.
Is that even his own dog? Or has he just borrowed it from one of his acolytes and made it run round the block with him?
Trump went walkies with his entourage after court where he had pleaded not guilty to 37 counts related to the alleged mishandling of classified documents, including 31 violations of the Espionage Act.
The former president called in to Cuban café Versailles where he declared “food for all” and then, according to the Miami New Times, left without picking up a single tab.
What the reviews said
Glenda played King Lear at the Old Vic in 2016. One reviewer described it as “one of those 11th-hour feats of human endeavour that will surely be talked about for years to come” while another said watching her act was “like looking straight into the sun”.
Not in their wildest dreams could Johnson and Trump hope for reviews like that, although Donald’s hair and complexion do have certain blinding quality to them.
Perhaps there is a parallel to be drawn between Shakespeare’s play and Johnson’s saga.
He is the fallen and flawed leader, raging across the heath banging on about a “kangaroo court” and the “deranged” findings of the Privileges Committee, although, notice, still keeping enough wits about him to get a newspaper deal and eye up another shot at being London Mayor.
Dorries and Berry fit as the brown-nosing Goneril and Regan, flattering his ego and fuelling his arrogance.
And who is the fool in this scenario? Alas, take your pick from a very long cast list.
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