Buy early, buy cheap – that’s the motto we need to get ready for Christmas 2023, while the cost of living crisis continues, writes Iain Maciver.
Right, you lot. The party’s over. Get back to work, if you are lucky enough to still have a job. We have a cost of living crisis to get through.
You have had your annual jollies with the BBC Alba Hogmanay show, or Edith Bowman or Sean Batty on the other side. No excuse to be stale now.
Actually, they were slightly stale for New Year shows. The artistes were all great, but the online comments afterwards confirmed that we prefer a singalong show – a bit of a perty.
These programmes have to be produced to the second to prevent a rabble. However, if the fun is sterilised out of a New Year show, what is the point?
Beeb engineers work hard so the sound is just right on TV, as well as on radio. The problem comes when it slides into over-production, without caring for fun.
An example of that on Alba was when veteran accordionist Fergie MacDonald was playing Loch Maree Islands (also known by its first line: “Show me Arigh ‘n Eilean, below me Loch Maree”), from yon evocative song of the same name by Kenneth Mackenzie of Poolewe.
It’s also forever linked to Fergie, as he went after the late and lamented Kenneth to get the lyrics and tune right. It gave Fergie his first hit in the 1960s. Since then, it has been given a bash by almost every Scottish artist worth his or her salt – even Peat and Diesel.
Saturday night’s audience dutifully swayed, but then got way above their station. They were moved enough by Fergie to join in and sing along to the “fine 10-pointer and the Royal-O”. Just one problem – we couldn’t hear them.
No microphones were near the audience, who were expected to only obediently clap and sway, like sober teuchters. The mics were all with Fergie and the band. Oops.
When you realised why, it was weird watching audience members’ mouths move when only a distant echo could be heard. It clearly wasn’t part of BBC Alba’s plan that the audience would start to enjoy themselves and participate.
That’s not a complaint – just a helpful suggestion for next year. I’ll keep the recording of this one and compare them next time. Deal?
Buy early, buy cheap
There are loads of deals to be had now the festivities are over. Christmassy choccy boxes are half-price in the filling station down the road. Why couldn’t they do that two weeks ago, when I was buying?
I have already started my Christmas shopping. Yep, prices are good, so I have been buying up lots of Lindor, crackers (really cheap at the moment), Celebrations, and yon Irish liqueur which is almost as good as Baileys – but much cheaper. I hope they don’t go stale.
I’m not going to be stale – or cold. Buy early, buy cheap. So, that is what I’m doing now – almost a year in advance.
We won’t visit anyone until mid-January, so we can buy at the sales. This time next year, I could be a millionaire
What if I get the munchies and scoff the lot beforehand? You have a point, I suppose. So, here is our back-up plan. We are also going to postpone next Christmas for three weeks. We won’t visit anyone until mid-January, so we can buy at the sales. This time next year, I could be a millionaire.
Some things cannot wait. I’d better buy the cold weather stuff now. If weatherman Sean Batty and his oppo on the BBC are even half right, more freezing weather is coming in. So, I’d better buy gloves, thermal underwear and more jumpers now.
Wear anything to add layers, says the woman on the radio. Will I buy more…? No – one pair of long johns is enough, surely? They go under trousers anyway.
A Hogmanay lecture
No one should be feeling stale at this time of year. My old friend Angus was feeling a bit that way last week. He hadn’t been out for a wee dram for ages. He decided to take the bus into Stornoway on Saturday evening.
Angus met many people he hadn’t seen for a long time, and, before long, he had far too much bevvy inside him. It happens. He saw the time and decided to go home before the bells. Sadly, there were no taxis to be had. There was nothing else for it, so he began to walk.
He was making heavy weather of it as the pavements were slippery and his balance was not great. Two police officers were on patrol and they spotted Angus stumbling up Church Street towards them.
They pulled up beside him. The sergeant asked where he was going. Angus replied: “Actually officer, I’m on my way to a lecture.”
The sergeant scoffed: “Do you even know what night it is? Who on earth gives lectures on Hogmanay?” Quick as a flash, Angus answered: “My wife, that’s who.”
Iain Maciver is a former broadcaster and news reporter from the Outer Hebrides
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