Keith Richards cannot be killed by conventional weapons, according to ‘legendary roadie’ Del Preston in Wayne’s World II.
Audiences laughed when Ralph Brown’s character uttered this line in the 1993 film.
But 20 years on, it may be the best explanation we’re going to get for the fact that heroin, hellraising and falling out of coconut trees can prove no match for Keef.
Following the 2006 fall, Keith added Dr Andrew Law, the neurosurgeon who saved his life to his entourage, calling him “my head guy” and they became good friends.
Disco naps
We can’t know what it’s like to be a Rolling Stone, my pal and fellow fan James said as we waited for Mick and the boys to arrive on stage at Anfield last year.
We know they arrive at gigs in separate Range Rovers and that they sometimes explore a city like tourists while on tour.
But we can only guess at the level of rock and roll luxury in which they are cocooned.
They have to be well looked after because how else could they put in such energetic performances and maintain their youthful, cheeky sense of humour?
I’m almost 30 years their junior and I’ve missed two office Christmas parties because I took disco naps that were nine hours longer than they should have been.
You don’t half feel foolish when you wake up at 3am with your face in a tinsel headband and the imprint of a sleigh earring in your cheek and you’ve not even left the house.
Theatrical launch
The launch of the Stones’s first studio album in 18 years was refreshingly old school, starting with an advert in a local paper and culminating with a press event at the Hackney Empire in London’s east end.
Inside the auditorium, people milled about drinking pints of lager while they waited for Mick, Keith and Ronnie to appear on stage with presenter Jimmy Fallon.
While Taylor Swift had fans jump through a frustrating series of digital hoops for her Murrayfield gigs, the greatest rock and roll band of all time kept it real with an unscripted interview and an open bar.
Anyone watching this on TV or YouTube will have been impressed by two things – the Stones themselves and the breathtaking Hackney Empire.
Once described as “the most beautiful theatre in London” it was held up by architectural scholar Nicholas Pevsner as one of the best surviving examples of late-Victorian and Edwardian design.
The Hackney Empire was designed by Frank Matcham and we are lucky to have one of his finest works on our doorstep – His Majesty’s Theatre in Aberdeen. He also remodelled the city’s lovely Tivoli Theatre.
Matcham created gorgeous venues but it was never style over substance; he designed cantilevered seating levels which did away with pillars to give clear sight lines to the stage.
At HMT he had to deal with a cliff down from Rosemount Viaduct and the Denburn water. He used the former to his advantage and that’s why the dress circle is at street level.
Sky-high hotel prices
It’s easy to take our treasures for granted but the north and north-east has so much to attract people for all sorts of reasons from all over the world.
That’s why it was concerning to see reports of a 400% increase in hotel prices in the Granite City for Offshore Europe, with one charging £349 a night for a room with no windows.
We must take heed with what’s happened in Edinburgh with audiences and performers being priced out of the festivals due to sky-high accommodation costs.
It’s great to host these big events but if people can’t afford to attend them that’s a problem.
I don’t know where Elgin-born actor Kevin McKidd stayed when he visited the north-east this week.
The Grey’s Anatomy star, who lives in the US, popped into JG Ross coffee shop in Inverurie and the Kimberley Inn in Findhorn.
The JG Ross Facebook page was swamped with messages from regular customers upset to have missed him, with one saying she would have “flown home specially”.
If I was them I’d have been kicking myself too, but as any Stones fan knows, you can’t always get what you want.
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